Always Talking

How Can It Be?

2011-02-26T14:35:00.003-05:00

How can it be that you are getting so big?

I think that thought daily when I see my children (who live with me) find new independence, or when I catch of a glimpse of them and realize how mature they are beginning to look...but this is different...

When I watch you grow; it is through pictures...

Pictures that are often taken months apart and arrive in my inbox, taken by some sweet person who was able to visit you and capture a smile from you. Pictures that I find myself studying with great detail; in hopes of seeing your heart through the film.

My sweet boy...you are looking so grown up...you are looking so handsome...and I am forever grateful that you are looking happy.

If I were with you right now, I would hug your sweet smile and tell you to stop growing...stop getting bigger...stop becoming a little man! And then we would laugh...knowing full well that we can't stop the years from passing...

I only wish I was passing the years by with you.

Memories...

2011-01-18T00:58:00.002-05:00

Sitting here with tear stained eyes and wondering why there are days when God feels so far away.

After a year of serving in a ministry that we love; but in the hardest area of the world we have ever lived in; there are days when I wish I could blink and wake up back in my cozy North Carolina bed. Alas, when I blinked this time, all I saw was more falling snow and the pile of papers that I still have left to get done for work. Life is so different now than it was a year ago and there are times when I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread.

But then...

Then, I am blessed with memories of days gone by. Memories of a time in our life when the road didn't always seem clear but the "Guide" seemed to know exactly where He was going all along.

As I read through my old blogs (yes, from back in the day when I used to blog - sigh), I found this "memory". Thank you Lord for memories...tonight it is carrying me through.

Written December 3, 2009

"The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you."
Anonymous

I have repeated this phrase in my mind countless times over the past few days.

Donn's official last day at church was on Sunday and he was scheduled to leave town to go ahead of us to NY on Tuesday morning. About 3 hours after he drove away, he called me and said that his transmission had gone on his old truck. We then spent the remainder of the day watching God provide...

First He provided for Donn's truck to be towed back to Charlotte.

Next he provided for a group of people to come beside us to pay for the new transmission in the truck.

Finally, he provided plane tickets so that Donn can still fly to NY to be at an interview which he had previously scheduled (which he would have missed because of the truck still being in the shop).

Many people have responded to the incidents of the past few months (like the house sale falling through and the truck breaking down) by asking us if God is saying that we should be staying in NC. Although we've asked ourselves those same questions; I can honestly say that our spirits tell us that these trials are from Satan. God is still at work even in the midst of what seems to the world as a disappointment.

In our hearts we know that God has called us to this new ministry. Every part of our being tells us that these trials are a direct result of the fact that Satan is trying his hardest to beat down our spirits and keep us from getting to NY.

On the flip side; God is shining brightly as He provides for us in countless ways such as car repairs and plane tickets.

And so I remeber the quote that I shared with you earlier:
"The will of God will never take you where the grace of God won't protect you."

Today we pray simple prayers. "Lord, let your will be done and let us remain in the center of it. Protect our family...protect our spirits, and guide us down this path."

Faith is not supposed to be easy. I sure wish it could be, but in my heart I know that easy faith is no faith at all.

"The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you."

Amen.

My Prince...

2011-01-02T21:35:00.002-05:00

This picture arrived in our "inbox" today. Our sweet boy so far away...God gave me a little piece of you today. At just the right moment...at just the right time, He sent me a picture that reminded me that He is in control of everything.

These last few weeks have been a rollercoaster. We've been told that if we can get our paperwork filed now, there is a slight chance that we may actually get you home. A "slight" chance doesn't sound all that promising, and yet, a "slight" chance is worlds ahead of where things have been for the past 2 years.

And so we work feverishly. We file paperwork, visit doctors, get passports...we do everything... And then we wait...

We wait to see, if by some miracle, God will bring you home to us.

I must admit that I've been upset with myself over the past few weeks. Sometimes, I have the faith that God is going to provide and that you will come home to us. Many other times I've let fear creep in and I've sat on my floor crying and wondering if I will get through all of this and then lose you again.

I'm not sure how I can go through that again.

Saying goodbye to you the first time was the hardest thing I have ever done. Watching your face as our car drove away, will forever be etched in my brain as one of the worst images I've ever seen.

I'm scared Prince. For almost 2 years, I have dreamed of one day holding you again. And yet; now that it's here, I'm so scared that my heart will be broken again if I can't be with you.

And yet, this is what faith is...it's not always knowing how things will end up, but trusting in the ONE who does know.

I'm praying for faith now. I'm praying I will trust God to provide and I'm praying that He will let me put my entire heart into this moment; even if it means having to let go again.

You are worth it Prince and your life will be a testimony to his abundant blessings my sweet boy.

Thanks for teaching Mommy to have more faith.

Love,
Mommy

Updates on our little Prince...

2010-12-23T10:10:00.003-05:00

What a crazy few weeks it's been!! In the midst of chaos of work and chaos of Christmas, the most incredible blessing has come our way. I have updated our blog regarding our son, Prince, and I would invite you all to take a peek! God is good!!

http://www.ourprincewillcome.blogspot.com/

Merry Christmas!!

2010-12-17T07:46:00.000-05:00

I think I may need to get to the mall more...

Christmas At Our House...

2010-12-16T22:27:00.006-05:00

For the first time ever we will be having Christmas at our house!! So, before the house turns into a mad scene of pure chaos (with over 20 people spending the night) I thought I'd share a few pics of our peaceful Christmas! Welcome to "Christmas At Our House".

My Baby Turns Three!!

2010-12-16T22:14:00.002-05:00

This little girl is the love of my life and makes every day brighter!! I love you little Elle! Happy Birthday!

First Day Of School!!

2010-09-10T20:18:00.003-04:00

I can't believe how big my kindergartner and third grader are getting!!

Only 1 Day Away!!!!!!!!

2010-08-31T11:42:00.003-04:00

Almost a year to the day that God revealed His plan for Donn and I to move to NY to begin C1, we will be holding our first major event and unveiling the new storefronts!!

I can hardly believe it is here and just wish that all of you could be here to see it! I especially wish that my amazing friends from Charlotte could be a part of this amazing day because you have all been such a catalyst for Donn and I having the courage to step out in this plan.

The signs are around town, the newspaper ads have run and I'm starting to hear people talk about this "new C1 ministry" that is "giving away over 80 backpacks!" (True story: I heard that twice today)!

Please cover this event and the people who come in your prayers! I will be sure to take lots of pictures and get them posted as soon as I can! Find me or Change of 1 on facebook and you can get updates there as well!

I truly believe that this day would not have happened if we hadn't had so many people "pulling for us" over these past 12 months. You all know who you are and I hope you also know how much we love you

Ahhh!!!!!!!!

2010-08-27T15:26:00.003-04:00

My good friend at work just reminded me that I hadn't blogged yet today!

AHHH!! Now I've got little spies who are keeping me on task in my quest to blog regularly!!

Stupid spies!!!

And so, this is what you get when it's 6 minutes before I leave work for the weekend and the internet is still not hooked up at my home.

You get me...talking about how I made it one week, and even though today's blog is pretty much lame, at least I blogged!!

Keep in mind, yesterday was a deep blog. Truthfully, yesterday was deep enough for a whole month for me so don't judge and just celebrate with me! This could be the first full week I have blogged since last December!!!!!!!!

I did it! I did it!!!!

And so I'm off to an exciting long-weekend of continued storefront renovations and getting ready for opening day (which is just 5 days away)!! Ya-hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to show you pictures next week of the C1 storefront completed!!!! Have a great weekend!!

C1 Update...

2010-08-26T14:40:00.003-04:00

Not too much extra time today (while I'm scarfing down some food) but I wanted to share a few pictures with you. The top picture is of one of the sides of the C1 Storefronts on the day we began leasing it. The bottom picture is the same side as of today.

God is moving! Things are coming together and hopefully lives will be changed! Just 6 more days until our great Back To School Bash and the grand opening of C1!! More pictures to come as the transformation continues! Let's pray this transformation happens in lives too and not just in this building!

One Year Later...

2010-08-25T07:00:00.000-04:00

Can you believe it's been a year since God called Donn and I to leave NC to begin C1 in NY!!

I can hardly believe it's been that long and yet here we sit now (in temperatures that are dropping) and just one week away from our grand opening event!

Here are some things I've learned over the past year:

1) Surrender is crucial. Before God even gave us this calling, He was preparing our hearts by teaching us to surrender. I'll never forget the day I sat on my back patio in NC and ended up in tears as I felt God reminding me that every part of my life needed to be surrendered to Him. "Lord, I surrender our home, I surrender our family, I surrender my life to You..." Those were some of the hardest words I have ever uttered and yet they threw open the gates for God to begin revealing His plan in our life!

2) Having deep faith on one day does not mean you will have deep faith the next day. This faith journey has been such a rollercoaster! Some days I look at our bank account or our trials and they barely bother me because I know that God is in control of them. Then, inevitably, I wake up the next day in a sweat wondering how we're going to make ends meet! I used to feel guilty about this until I realized that this is actually a great way for God to keep me on my toes in our faith journey together. Faith is a day by day commitment (sometimes a minute by minute commitment)!

3) My ways are not His ways....uggh....shoot me dead now...This is a tough one for me! My life has changed in just about every way this past year. My friendships have changed, my home has changed, my career has changed, my family-life has changed, my hips have changed (oops...that's another blog). The point is...everything is different! As a general rule of thumb, I'm thrilled with knowing that God has placed a calling on our life and we're pursuing it, but specifically, there are a few things I would have personally done differently. I miss my days in ministry settings, I miss my time to write, I miss (most of all) my children. Sometimes life throws us curve balls and all we can do is try to play the game well. I've never been much of an athlete, but I'm trying to do my best now. It may not be a "game" I would have chosen but I trust that God has the big picture in mind and knows what His plan is for me.

4) Don't lose sight of who you are. This one has been interesting for me. Any of you who know me, know that I'm pretty transparent and wear my heart on my sleeve. Just a few years ago, I wrote a book about being honest and confident in who you are....these past few months have been a definite exercise in my own confidence! Never before have Donn and I felt so challenged, so burdened, so responsible or so "watched" as we have since beginning C1. At times I find myself over-analyzing my actions. I have come to realize that it's a wonderful thing to recognize the responsibility that we have, but it's a problem if we let that responsibility change who we really are inside. Walking through a rebirth of my own Godly confidence has been one of the greatest blessings of this journey.

5) God is waiting to blow our socks off! Just when you think you'll never sell a house...He'll sell it...just when you think you'll never get a job, He'll provide one...just when you think you'll never have deep friendships again, He'll bring them...just when you think no one is showing up to help unload the moving van, people will come out of the woodwork...just when you think you'll never be in your own home again...He'll put the perfect house in your path...

...just when you think you can never do it, He'll remind you that it's Him who was doing it all along!

One year later...what a great year it's been!

Admit it!!!!!!!

2010-08-24T14:38:00.002-04:00

Okay, admit it...how many of you looked at the clock and saw that it was already 2:30 and thought to yourself, "Nope...Cyndie's not gonna write today!"

Come on!! Be honest! I know my Mom thought that...she actually called to tell me that I hadn't written yet today (just in case I hadn't noticed)!

Alas, here I am....day 2 of the challenge and I'm staying true to my word despite the fact that I'm actually 3 paragraphs in and still have no idea what I'm going to write about!

I know you're all on the edge of your seat wondering where in the world this compelling drama will go!

Sorry to disappoint but this could actually be one of those times when you will walk away dumber just by reading whatever nonsense comes out of my brain!

And yet, still you're reading on!! Wow, you 4 are committed!! :)

So, here I sit....at my desk in my cozy little office (where I should be working - shh...) with my heater at my feet (because, yes, this is the North) and i'm typing away wondering what in the world I could impart upon all 3 of you reading this. (you see, the 4th person just dropped out back there when I began discussing my heater).

And so, here goes...

Slight pause for dramatic effect....

Nope.

Nothing.

Man, have these last 6 months of working full-time seriously made me brain damaged!? I swear, I used to spend 24 hours a day with a 2 year old and I had deep thoughts...now I spend my hours with a bunch of adults and my brain is crippled?

Wait - is there a deep thought in there???

Nope, it's gone.

Mental note: No more blogging at 2:30 in the afternoon...I'll stick to early mornings.

But remember - at least I blogged!! MOM!

Where's my coffee?!

A New Challenge....

2010-08-23T07:29:00.002-04:00

Okay, I'm ashamed...I can't even begin to look at the last date I posted something. It's truly appalling and I can give you a million and 3 reasons why I have become a blog reject, but I'll spare you the boredom.

Needless to say, I'm tired of not taking the time to blog. I often think about how stupid it is that I even miss the blogging...I mean really, do all 17 of you out there actually care a bit about the dumb comments I made in grocery store line or the tricky way in which I know it's time to diet (stories for another day, I suppose)? The point is, I highly doubt that any of my blogs alter anyone's course in a significant way - but I've realized something pretty big.

I miss it.

I have so many amazing and incredible and difficult things going on in my life since our new adventure began and I miss having a way for myself to sort through all of it!

And so, I've made a declaration with myself (good luck). This week I will blog each day. Just like old days.

I can't guarantee that any of the words will come out forming any actual sentences, but I can guarantee that I will do it!

Game on!! Here we go!! Get ready for your life to absolutely be altered in NO WAY... but who knows, maybe we'll laugh a little as we go! :)

Ever have one of those days...

2010-07-23T11:51:00.002-04:00

When you're heading up to bed, but you can't quite make it! :)

The Reality...

2010-07-06T19:49:00.003-04:00

Sometimes there's just nothing left to do but admit the reality.

Sometimes the reality is simple.

Sometimes you can know for certain that you are living God's will, but you can long with deep sadness for days gone by.

Sometimes you just ache...

Sometimes you miss your deep friendships that were closer than you ever knew friends could be...The friends who knew exactly what you were like and loved you anyway.

Sometimes you miss the life of being the one who leads Bible studies instead of the one who leads Fundraising meetings.

Sometimes you miss the days of waking up and having time to get your own kids dressed for the day.

Sometimes you just miss yourself.

You...the way you used to be...The writer who had time to write. The leader who had time to study.

Lord, I pray for a thankful heart and for the strength to remember that, even on bad days, You are the reason we are here and You are worth it.

I pray for glimpses of You and reminders of who I am in You.

I pray for more of You.

Welcome Home!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-27T16:46:00.008-04:00

Well, it's been a journey (to say the least) but we believe that our journey is about to finally come to a close to some degree.

About a month ago, we were blessed beyond belief to get a message from my college roommate's little sister asking for more information on our house in NC. She and her husband had just found out that they were going to be moving to Charlotte to accept a position at Charlotte Christian School.

We tried not to get too excited at the possibility of them actually purchasing our home, but in our hearts we knew that it was just like God to take someone from our days back in Boston and relocate them directly to Matthews. Within days they had decided that our house was the one for them and we are now set to close on our NC home in just a few weeks.

In the meantime, we again picked up our search of homes in NY. If you recall, our Matthews home has actually been under contract 2 other times throughout these past months, so looking at homes in NY has been quite a roller coaster. What began as such an exciting adventure, got to be something that we dreaded. All in all, I think we have looked at about 30 something homes. That's only about 25 more than we ever had to look at in Charlotte!

When we looked at this home, there was just something about it from the minute we walked in. It's not the biggest home and it's definitely in need of updating, but we feel at home there and we know we can make it ours. At one point I sat in the window seat that overlooks the yard (from what will be Elle's room) and I felt like I could picture her standing on the front lawn taking prom pictures! I think it was at that moment that I knew we were finally home.

And so, we are now in the process of packing up the Charlotte home (which the boys are doing right now) and we will be closing on our new NY home by mid August!

We're elated and very grateful to God. The journey of these past 6 months has been a very unique one. We've had ups and downs in many ways but more than anything we've had our faith tested and our faith strengthened. God has taken care of us through it all and it is clear that He had everything worked out all along!

I smell like a monkey...

2010-06-21T16:15:00.003-04:00

and I look like one too! :)

Happy Birthday to me! :)

It's the 4th Annual 29th Birthday Celebration Baby!

Progress!!

2010-06-20T13:53:00.002-04:00

Come take a quick tour with us!!

This is the C1 facility in progress! It's humble...it's pretty ghetto...but it's Home!

A Good Day!!

2010-06-11T16:47:00.002-04:00

Well, tomorrow is a very big day for many reasons!!

For one, it is my studly hubbie's 35th birthday (no, I can't believe he's 35)!

Secondly, it is our 11th wedding anniversary (no, I can't believe we've been married 11 years)!

Thirdly, it is the first big Renovation Day at the C1 Storefront!!

So many awesome and exciting events in one day! I am truly blessed.

Blessed to have an amazing, healthy, hot man.

Blessed to have spent 11 years with the best friend I've ever known and

Blessed to be starting a ministry with others who love the Lord!

June 12, 2010 - It's a good day.

Email...

2010-06-09T12:37:00.002-04:00

There are days when checking email is about as exciting as getting a pap smear...filtering through all the junk and smut that comes down the line is just not my idea of a good time.

However, there are other days when; as you're filtering through all the smut; you come upon a really special simple message.

"Mommy, I love you FOREVER." Love Ayden.

Those are the days when email becomes a lifeboat and makes my heart smile.

Thank goodness for email.

Recent News...

2010-06-07T07:45:00.003-04:00

Well, I am excited to say that C1 became public news last week in our local paper! I must admit that I am thrilled with the article and especially with my Studly Hubbie's boldness in dealing with some of the negative statements which were made during this meeting.

The reporter put a bit more of a "church" twist on it than we ever really advertise (mainly because we are looking at this as more of a ministry than a specific "church") but the reality is that we are going to be "Church" (notice the capital C) to many people, so the generalization is pretty accurate though it may be not worded as we would typically word it.

I am linking the article to this post and I would also point out that it is important for our prayer partners to read the comments at the bottom. The North is MUCH different than the South and not everyone here is going to welcome us with open arms. We recognize that and the Lord has even given us a sense of humor about the entire situation. However, I would also point out that many people have come alongside of us and many area churches have already begun supporting the ministry as well.

God is already working in big ways!! It's such a humbling experience to be a part of!!!

As you'll see when you read the article, we have just received final approval to begin renovations on the storefronts! Renovations began last week and as the Lord supplies money (we need a total of approximately $20,000) we will continue to do the work to get the buildings up to code for ministry!! God is good!!

Article Below:

http://www.leaderherald.com/page/content.detail/id/522959.html?showlayout=0

Carolina...

2010-06-01T21:02:00.002-04:00

I can't wait to tell you all about my NYC excursion with my Mom and sisters, but that will have to wait since I refuse to tell you about it without pictures (which are on my sister's camera).

In the meantime, let me leave you with the song that's making my heart pitter patter right now...

I can honestly say that multiple times a day I "go to Carolina in my mind". It doesn't matter how much I love our new life here in NY or how certain I am that we are exactly where God has called us; Carolina is still my home.

But here's the best part!! In just 2 days I'll be driving to Carolina by myself to spend 2 days cleaning, doing yard work and packing needed items.

In my mind I'm going to Carolina!!

And...in this case; "In my van I'm going to Carolina!"

Doesn't quite have the same ring to it, but you get the point! :)

Water for Liberian Kids...

2010-05-28T07:45:00.000-04:00

I received this letter from the Adoption Agency that we are adopting our son Prince from...this is the orphanage that Prince spent many years in. Please read below.
_______________________________________________________________
"Water- for the majority of us, it is as easy to attain as the turn of a knob or the flip of a handle. Many of us watch it run steadily down the drain as we brush our teeth in the morning or water our bushes in the afternoon.

Try to imagine what it would be like if you we not able to simply walk into your kitchen for a glass of water. Instead, you must trek to an outside well and draw the water that you require for basic hygiene, consumption, and household cleaning throughout the day. Though this scenario is difficult for most of us to conceptualize, it is the current reality for the children at the Daniel Hoover Village Mission School in Monrovia , Liberia .

CAS is petitioning our friends and supporters to consider helping meet the needs of these Liberian children by donating money to repair their watermill. The repaired watermill will allow these children to have running water in their dorms. $8500 is needed for the repairs.

Think about the impact that the availability of running water within your home has upon your quality of life. This is the vision that the Daniel Hoover Mission School has for the children under their care…and you can help to make this vision a reality. Please prayerfully consider giving to this incredible cause and changing the lives of these children forever.

A team of 15 Americans will be traveling to work on this project June 17th-26th. If you feel led to contribute to this cause, please send tax deductible checks to CAS with "Liberia Trip Group Projects" written in the memo line. Thank you in advance for your prayers for the orphans in Liberia and any effort that you are able to take to provide them with one of the bare necessities of life- water. "

Sincerely,

Your friends at CAS

For more information about the Daniel Hoover Village Mission School , visit: www.africanchildsponsorship.com

Jessica Owanesian

Christian Adoption SErvices

624-134 Matthews-Mint Hill RD.

Matthews, NC 28105-1775

Tel: 704-847-0038

www.christianadopt.org

"Behold, children are a heritage of the Lord." -Psalm 127:3

2010-05-27T16:45:00.001-04:00

It's almost here!!!!!! It's only taken us 6 months, but we are finally getting to celebrate my Mom's big 60th birthday! And so, this weekend, while the hubbies are home with the kids; my Mom and 3 sisters and I will be heading to the big apple to indulge in a total girls weekend!

We'll be staying at the New Yorker Hotel (just steps away from Macy's) and we'll be enjoying an off-broadway show of Stomp!!

However, I must admit, that though those things excite me - the thing I'm most excited about is finding the man in the white van who sells the purses!!! :) YIPPEE!!!

Of course, this amazing weekend will then be followed by a great birthday party for my big 5 year old on Monday! Can you believe that little Brekyn is 5??!! Where has the time gone?! I'll be sure to post pictures of my cutie's big day as soon as possible!

Have a great Memorial Day weekend!!

Oh Dear Blog...

2010-05-21T17:21:00.000-04:00

Oh dear blog...I'm sorry I've betrayed you! Why can't you just be as easy as facebook and, dare I say, twitter (GASP)!?

Why do you require actual thoughts and more than 5 words to be formed together into a complete sentence? Do you think at the end of a long day in the office I have actual words still left in my head. Okay, so maybe I do have actual words left, but good grief!! Do you expect them to make any sense? Who are you kidding!

Why aren't you satisfied by allowing me to "like" certain things and simply type random phrases that take no more than 10 seconds to form?

Oh dear blog... I'm sorry that I've been distant but why do you have to be so high maintenance?

Where do you think I find the hours in my crazy day to sit down and be with you? Don't you realize that there are meetings to attend and toilets that still need cleaning??

Oh dear blog...please forgive me for I have wandered. I wish I could love you the way I used to but maybe, I don't know...just maybe...we ought to be friends. :)

(No - this doesn't mean I won't be blogging anymore...just a simple statement that when you're a busy working mom, facebook IS in fact, MUCH EASIER)!!

There, I've said it!!

Gasp...I may be banished to an underground world of bad bloggers now! :)

Amazing!!

2010-05-18T07:36:00.000-04:00

Surreal...that was the feeling I had as I looked around at a room full of people who were laughing and talking as the vision of C1 was laid out before those whom God led us to invite to be part of our Advisory Team.

Somehow, the building that felt so barren and stale just hours earlier seemed transformed as about 30 people heard the hearts of our "core" team and learned more about the mission to reach Gloversville.

As I sat and listened to the stories of how God brought our core team together and called each one of our families into this ministry, I couldn't help but sit in awe. There are so many details that have been playing out for years that brought us to this point today. We truly serve a big and mighty God!

Despite the fact that I told myself I wouldn't cry; I couldn't help but get choked up while thanking our advisory team for committing to the work. Just a short 8 months ago, Donn and I sat on our back patio in sunny Charlotte and committed to follow God's leading to Gloversville.

The road has not been easy and it has not been without trials, questions and tears, but it has been God's road. As I looked out at those in ministry alongside of us last night, I was reminded and overwhelmed by how miraculous our God is!

"And by faith, Abraham, when called, went to a place he did not know..."

Lord, let us keep the faith...let our lives be used for the change of 1.

Big Night!

2010-05-17T16:40:00.000-04:00

Tonight is a big night in the "history" of C1. Yes, I realize that the C1 history doesn't exactly go back as far as George Washington or the Titanic, but everything starts somewhere right?

Tonight is the first C1 Advisory Board meeting!

What's the advisory board?? Funny you asked...

The Advisory Board is a group of people whom we are inviting to come along on this journey with us. This group of about 30 people have been prayed very specifically over and we have invited them because we feel that they have some area of insight that could be helpful as we launch this new ministry. The group consists of committed Christians who range from local pastors to teenagers; business-men to teachers; moms to grandmas and everything in between.

We have prayed very hard over this meeting and are looking forward to casting the vision that God has laid on our hearts to these people and then asking them to stand in the gap for us in prayer and service.

Please pray alongside of us that God will be glorified during this time and that we will communicate clearly and effectively.

It's a monumental night for Donn and I...our first meeting in the C1 storefront! It ain't pretty but it will do! :) Praise God!

My little girl!

2010-05-10T08:35:00.002-04:00

Just couldn't resist!

My little girl recently went to visit Nana (who is the church secretary) at work.

Who wouldn't love getting a phonecall from this girl?? :)

Beyond a shadow of a doubt...

2010-05-07T08:56:00.005-04:00

Some days are just harder than others. Some days I miss my "old" life more. Some days the weight of the calling here seems heavier. Some days I long to walk through my old front door and pass by my flower beds. Some days I would give anything to sit around my table with all my old friends and laugh until we cry.

Some days...

Life has certainly gone in a direction that I could never have predicted and there are definitely days when I wish I could wake up, get the kids ready for the day, run off to my old Bible study or Mom's group and re-live that life that I grew so accustomed to.

It could be really easy to focus on all of those things that I miss and 'pity-party' myself into a pile of mush...but then I remember one very important thing...

Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

You see, in every major decision in our marriage, Donn and I have always said that we will not "go" unless we are certain that God has called us. We trust that if God is calling us in a direction, He will give us peace "beyond a shadow of a doubt."

Sometimes this has meant we have chosen NOT to move forward with a decision or plan. Other times God has given us that absolute certainty and we've taken the steps that He's ordained.

I'm grateful for the "beyond a shadow of a doubt" factor in our lives.

This road has already been (and will likely continue to be) the hardest road we have ever walked. The path that has been set before us is windy, rocky and at times unclear - but, in the midst of it all; we know we have been called.

We know that the Lord brought our family to this place at this very time and we trust that He has ordained the steps He wants taken.

He gave us the "beyond a shadow of a doubt" - way back in September...while standing in our kitchen - praying, hugging and crying. We "knew" at that moment that the Lord had truly ordained this "calling."

It was not man-made. It was not man-pursued. It was nothing short of a miracle.

Thank you Lord for the 'Beyond a shadow of a doubt.'

May we cling tightly to it.

On this day of prayer...

2010-05-06T00:01:00.000-04:00

Billy Graham's Prayer For Our Nation:

'Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.. We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare... We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.. We have abused power and called it politics... We have coveted our neighbour's possessions and called it ambition.. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honoured values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and Set us free.. Amen!'

Our City...

2010-04-23T08:12:00.001-04:00

I know I have been MIA these past few weeks with regards to my blog, but I assure you it’s not for any particular reason short of the crazy pace of our lives nowadays.

The ministry is moving along at a great pace and we are currently in the process of getting renovations begun on the storefront! On top of that, we are busy with Bible studies and trying to get to know some of the people from town and spending many hours per week with our “core” leadership team. Keep your eyes peeled for an update mailing which will feature pictures of the storefront as well as the unveiling of our new website!! If we don’t have your address, and you’d like to be included in this mailing, please contact me.

God has been so good to us!

However, the reality is that our lives here are very different than they were in suburban Charlotte. I opened the paper today and read this article and wanted to pass it on as a call to pray.

Crime in Gloversville seems to be on the rise and this article is proof of the problems we’re facing. This riot occurred just blocks away from our ministry site. Drugs are a very major problem here and the city is crumbling before our eyes. It can feel overwhelming at times.

And yet…

Praise God that He wants to reign in this city and Praise God that He has called us to be part of His plan!

Please pray for the people of this city and for their hearts to be opened to His. Please pray.

(See Newspaper Article Below):

Array of weapons used in what police call ‘riots’
By KAYLEIGH KARUTIS, The Leader-Herald
POSTED: April 22, 2010

GLOVERSVILLE - Several disturbances escalated into what police described as "riots" on city streets Tuesday, requiring the help of other area agencies to restore order.

The disturbances began Tuesday afternoon on East Pine Street as a neighborhood dispute attracted about 100 onlookers. Capt. James Lorenzoni said the officer responding to the call observed a man push a female and then advance toward a crowd of onlookers.

The suspect then came at the officer, screaming, "I'm going to [expletive] kill you." He threw a metal lawn chair at him, and hit him in the legs with a child's bicycle, Lorenzoni said.

Two officers arrived to see the suspect attacking the officer and wrapping him in a "bear hug."
The suspect's father then engaged a second officer in a fight, Lorenzoni said. Eventually, officers restored order and placed three individuals, including the original suspect, his father and a woman, under arrest. The suspects, whose names were not available this morning, were charged with a variety of misdemeanors and felonies, including harassment, assault, menacing, disorderly conduct, criminal mischief and obstructing governmental administration.

The officer who responded to the scene first escaped with just minor injuries, Lorenzoni said.
"We were very fortunate that there were no serious injuries," he said.

Another large disturbance began around 7 p.m. on Burr Street as an unidentified man began yelling from his vehicle at people in the street. The disturbance was quickly quelled, but flared up again a few hours later when a person hit another passing vehicle with an unidentified object, police said.

That incident escalated into multiple fights involving weapons, including shovels, bats, rocks, boards, belts and a piece of steel with a chain attached to one end. The entire available shift of Gloversville officers - three men - was sent to the riot.

The man who had been driving his vehicle down the road was struck with the chain, causing injuries, officials said. Numerous other fights took place over the next several hours, and city officers called for help from all other available units in the area. Officers responded to the scene repeatedly in an attempt to restore order, but were unable to do so until around midnight.
One of the victims in the fight was seriously injured and brought to Albany Medical Center Hospital. Further details about the victim were not available this morning. People also reported damage to vehicles.

Personal Note: This article appeared with two other articles on the front page:

The other two articles were about a major drug sting also just blocks from our ministry site AND an article about how break-ins have gone up in the last 6 weeks, with many focusing on area churches and businesses. One of the businesses was across the street from our facility.

Please pray. God has us here at a very critical time. Pray for protection and wisdom as we move forward.

Easter Weekend!

2010-04-06T19:23:00.005-04:00

We had a great Easter Weekend with family and new friends! Surprisingly, it was 75 degrees for Easter weekend!

Sanctus Real - Lead Me

2010-03-31T14:34:00.001-04:00

Wow....I just heard this song and I literally cried in my car. What a high calling the men in our lives have. It really calls me on to remember to lift up that man in my life.

A Dream Realized!

2010-03-22T21:07:00.007-04:00

Well, it's safe to say that things haven't gone exactly as we had expected since moving to NY.

For example, in our little plan of how things should go; never did we anticipate that our house sale in Charlotte would fall through TWICE and cause us to have to give up a contract on the house we had purchased here in NY.

And sure; transitioning to me being the person in the "typical" workforce while Donn begins the ministry and cares for the kids has taken some getting used to.

However, all in all, I can honestly say that this journey has been one of the most spectacular adventures I have ever been on.

Today, God continued to blow our minds as we received the keys to the new C1 Ministry Facility!

Never in a million years did I expect to have a ministry facility before getting a house, but in many ways that just seems right!

This entire adventure has been nothing short of miraculous and what better reminder as to why we're really here than to receive keys to a ministry facility (something which we initially expected to take over a year to build up to) before even receiving keys to a house!

And so; let me introduce you to C1!

Welcome to our new home! It's not glamorous and it's going to take some work to make it usable but God has brought us to a place where we can feasibly rent this facility so we trust Him to provide what is needed to fix it up.

C1 has leased the two storefronts that are under the ugly brown metal awning. This is right on Main Street in Gloversville.

Ironically, it is across the street from the Woolworths store that my Bop was the manager of for my entire childhood. I spent years playing right across the street! Who knew!

Main Street in Gloversville

This is the little grassy park across the street. It is owned by the same man who owns the building we're leasing so we have permission to use it as much as we'd like for ministry purposes! Can anyone say moonbounces, hotdogs and concerts at night!? (the Woolworths store where I grew up is the building to the right).

Praise God!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girly Girl!!

2010-03-22T07:40:00.012-04:00

I love being the Mom of a girly girl!!

The Lord certainly knew what He was doing when he gave me my little Elle!

After listening to her say, "Pretty" for months while she would stroke my earrings, she finally said the phrase that changed all phrases:

"Mommy, Elle want pretty ears."

Melt.

And that was all it took. That was Mommy's cue to melt into a mushy little pile on the floor.

Within days we were scheduling the big event and even had my mom on board - who, ironically, wouldn't let us get our ears pierced until we were 12!

And so, I leave you with my pretty little princess. She loves her pretty ears; though she still doesn't understand why that mean lady "hurt me" (so she says). :)

Ahhh...the price of beauty - a lesson she'll probably learn all too well over the years!

Waiting for the "mean lady" to finish messing with that silly looking gun thing. :)

Darned Little Leprechauns!

2010-03-17T20:37:00.005-04:00

This was the scene this morning as the kids discovered a HUGE mess in the family room, apparently made by those darned little leprechauns!

The little green rugrat broke through every trap set by the kids and then left little paper shamrocks around the house with snide little remarks on them (such as, "ha ha kids...didn't get me this time!")

But get this! Can you believe that Ayden discovered that the cheap little leprechaun even used our own computer to make his paper shamrocks!!

"WHAT?!" I screamed out as Ayden revealed the disturbing news.

Who could have known that my little 8 year old detective would actually go through the garbage to find scraps of apparent shamrocks cut out of cardstock?!

The ironic thing...he still thinks the dumb leprechaun is just cheap and wanted to use our computer ink to print his stupid shamrocks.

Who could have known that leprechauns were so cheap! :)

Sweet Blessings...

2010-03-14T15:46:00.004-04:00

One of the sweetest blessings of being near my family!!

Girls WEEKEND!!!

My mom, three sisters and I spent a wonderful Saturday at an incredible women's conference followed by a great dinner out and shopping!

Who could ask for more?!

He remains steadfast...

2010-03-05T07:17:00.002-05:00

He remains steadfast...

I reminded myself of this truth often last night. Over and over again I repeated those words in my mind as I sat with the group of people who are quickly becoming "family" for us here.

Part of me expected the phone call. Part of me was shocked by it.

Neverthless; HE remains steadfast.

We were just finishing up dinner with our life-group when I glanced at my phone to see that someone had called a few times in a row.

As I listened to the message left by the woman on the other end; my heart sank. I knew what she was going to say:
"Cyndie...call me immediately." were her words.

I picked up the phone and called to find a precious woman on the other end of the phone whose heart was broken by circumstances.

It was the sweet woman who is buying our house in Charlotte. Between sobs, she explained that she had just gotten word that her loan had fallen through.

"Not again..." I thought to myself. "Lord, I don't want to start this process over for the third time."

And yet, I felt God's peace.

I can't say what will happen from here. We are now left to put our home back on the market - yet again.

Sure, part of me is angry that God won't just allow this to be easy. But then I remember that not all of Abraham's journeys were filled with luxury hotels, perfect circumstances and ease.

The Lord remains in control.

Please pray for a few specific things.

First, pray for the Charlotte buyer and her daughter who have become friends to us. Pray for God to wrap His arms around them and give them peace. This is a very trying time for them and they are questioning many things right now.

Secondly, please pray for our kids. They have been through so much transition in the last few months and the house sale in Charlotte (and consequently our house purchase here) was the "normalcy" on the horizon. Pray for their hearts to be protected as we break the news to them that we will no longer be able to purchase the home here in NY.

Third, pray for stamina. I trust God and I know Him well enough to know that He orders all things. But today I'm tired...I'm sad and I'm waiting on a miracle of sorts.

But, this is the God we serve.

He remains steadfast and in the big picture of life...these are only small rocks.

This world is not our home...Lord, let us never forget it.

And this is what happens...

2010-03-02T20:04:00.004-05:00

When you transplant a little girl from the South into the North.

A slightly confused child.

Home Sweeet Home!!

2010-02-26T14:39:00.009-05:00

After months of looking and many, many prayers; we are thrilled to say that we've bought a home!!

Lord willing, we will close on our new home sometime in April and we just love it!

It's a cozy little 3 bedroom (that's really not as little as it appears from the outside). It was built in 1850 and has original hardwoods and a heating system that was initially coal (which will be replaced as soon as we move in).

It is truly one of the most charming homes I have ever seen! .. We feel so blessed! Of course, the best part was that we got it for a GREAT price and actually came in under our budget!

That’s just how good God is!!

What??!!!

2010-02-24T20:07:00.004-05:00

So, I realize that I don't blog as much as I used to, but I still like to think that those of you who have become my bloggy world friends know me fairly well.

So, let me ask you this question...

Hypothetically speaking (of course); if I was participating in a "newlywed game" where someone posed the question;

"Donn just stopped at the 7Eleven on the way home from work and decided to bring a treat home for Cyndie. What treat would Donn bring home to Cyndie?"

So what would my dear bloggy friends answer to that question??

I myself was thrilled to hear that question asked because I thought for sure Donn would know the answer! DUH!! Chalk on an extra 10 points for the Truaxes! We've been married for almost 11 years - surely Donn would run up to the counter of the 7 Eleven with a HUGE box of swiss cake rolls!

Right??

Hmmmph...

Apparently not.

Apparently, in this little world that my husband of one decade lives in; Cyndie would much rather have a bag of TOSTITOS from the 7Eleven!!

WHAT???!!!!

Where in the world has this guy been for the past 10 years? Doesn't he read my blog! I mean, come on!!

Tostitos!!

Good grief.

Maine

2010-02-16T05:11:00.004-05:00

Incredible!! That's what our weekend in Maine was!

We left on Friday after work and had a wonderful few days of building lasting friendships, praying together, collecting shells on the beach, getting tattoos (yes, I said that-Donn - not me), shopping at the outlets and having dinner cooked by the guys!

What a busy and fun-filled time!

If I had any idea how much God would pull together in such a short amount of time, I probably would have exploded. During amazing conversations and prayer time while the kids were in bed, the core 6 of us were able to iron out some major details with regards to planning and ministry focus.

At times, I would sit there, listening to all that was going on around me, and I would realize, once again, that I am in the midst of a miracle. Just over 5 months ago, the concept of what God is using us for was nothing more than a dream that Donn and I hashed out at our kitchen table hundreds of miles away!

And yet, today that dream is becoming a reality. It's baby steps and hard work. It's leaps of faith and fighting fear. It's trusting God more than you trust yourself and it's a lot of new territory...but it's reality.

It's a reality that truly took my breath away as I stood in a row on Sunday morning and realized that the 6 of us (who barely knew each other a few months ago) were now worshiping together as we embark upon these new waters.

And I can't help but think...if God can do all this in just a matter of a few months, what might He do with more time?

Stayed tuned in the coming week for updates on the C1 site (www.changeof1ministry.com)

Events are being planned ya'll! Our ministry partners will be introduced and God will be glorified!

Another Big Event!

2010-02-10T18:48:00.003-05:00

And so, another piece falls into place in this little puzzle of an adventure we have embarked upon.

As of last night, our Charlotte home is under contract!! Again...

We feel very good about the new buyer and we know that they are excited to get into the house.

The closing date has not been officially set yet, but at the latest, it will be the end of March. Both the buyer and us would prefer to have it even sooner, so if we can get the mortgage company moving quickly, it's likely that it could be earlier in March.

Obviously, having this piece of the puzzle fall into place is an extreme relief to us.

And now onto the next puzzle piece...

We have scheduled a second showing at the house that we are interested in here.

The showing has been scheduled for 3pm tomorrow, however, we received word today that the sellers received another offer today. They are waiting until we go through tomorrow to see if we place an offer.

Obviously, it's not our ideal situation because we don't want to feel pressured into making a decision, but the fact is that we've been praying about this house for weeks. Hopefully we'll know either way, once we see the home again tomorrow afternoon.

Please say a quick prayer if you think to. It's a big decision that has SO much bearing on the ministry and how it moves forward. All we want is to be in God's will.

I'll let you know how it goes. :)

C1 Retreat!!

2010-02-08T17:47:00.002-05:00

So, I know it's not customary to have a retreat before you've actually gotten the ministry up and running, but as you know, we just don't go by the book when it comes to much.

And so...this weekend, we will be heading to Maine for the first Annual C1 Retreat!!

Our ministry partners, Rob and Molly, have a family home in Maine that we will be heading to for a weekend of relaxing and brainstorming ministry ideas. We are so excited!!

We will also be joined by our new friends, Doug and Lauren who have partnered with C1 since our arrival in NY. The ministry family that God has raised up is such an answer to prayer. It's crazy to think that just a few months ago, we answered this calling on our lives and immediately began praying that God would call out others to join us. Now, I stand back and realize all that God has done and I am absolutely amazed! He is so good!

God has done so much in such a short period of time and I can't begin to describe what it feels like to know that you are walking the path He's called you to walk.

Life Group!

2010-02-05T06:48:00.002-05:00

What a great night we had!

Last night was the official start of the life group that Donn and I have been praying for for quite some time.

For the first 8 years of our marriage, Donn and I were always involved with a life group. It was a group we could be real with; share our fears with; pray over life with, and laugh a ton with. Over the course of 8 years, the group shifted and merged in many ways, but the simple fact remained that they were some of the closest friends we had ever had in life.

Over the past 2+ years however, life groups were not something that were part of the model at the church where Donn served. Between his hectic ministry schedule and added kids, we ended up dropping the life group focus and deeply missing that time.

Last Spring, Donn and I were discussing some areas where we felt our life could use improvement and that was the top area for each one of us. We determined that we would begin praying for God to help us begin a life group by this past fall.

Of course, at the time, we had no idea what changes were in store for our family and what our fall would end up looking like.

When God led us on this new endeavor; the very first thing that He laid on our hearts was to get to NY and to get started in a life group. We knew it didn't make much sense since we had no friends in NY and it was pretty unlikely to think of beginning a life group in your first few days in a new town; but we continued to feel the urgency so we continued to pray.

And last night we realized a major answer to prayer.

Around bowls of ice cream, a blazing fire and hot coffee, we sat with Rob, Molly, Lauren and Doug and shared life. We talked over past struggles, present struggles and future dreams. We prayed for guidance and focus and we discussed the next step for C1. Pretty much, we sat in the midst of an answered prayer.

Watching God reveal His plan for this new adventure is beyond anything I have ever experienced. What began just 6 months ago as a vision and a hope, has now become a group of 6 adults who are praying specifically for the revival of the "Glove Cities."

God is so present here. Please keep praying!

Just a quick hello!

2010-02-04T07:15:00.002-05:00

Just saying a quick hello today to my bloggy world family. I must say, I do miss you. I even had a thought the other day that would make many of you gasp. I actually thought to myself...man, if I don't have time to blog, maybe I'll have to start tweeting (GULP)!!!

Don't worry my bloggy family. I haven't left the blogging world for tweeting just yet! :)

Needless to say, I do miss you all and I hope to get my little brain wrapped around this new schedule and find more time with you soon.

In the meantime, my coffee and work are calling my name!

What in the world is going on??

2010-02-01T07:02:00.003-05:00

Man, it seems like there is just so much to say but so little time to say it....literally.

It's 7:10 am now and I will be heading off to work shortly. Each day goes by and I think of my bloggy world friends and I feel so bad for neglecting to meet with you all here and at least say "hi"...but reality is just a bit chaotic right now.

The truth is, when I get home from work and prepare dinner I probably could sit down and blog a bit...BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!

I just want to sit and read to Elle or sit and watch tv or sit and do...well...NOTHING! :)

Needless to say, we're still in transition here a bit.

However, in the few short minutes that I have left, let me see if I can give some updates.

1) The Charlotte house is still on the market (though we're hoping that will change very soon). We have an interested buyer and it is someone whom we would LOVE to have in the house. It is a mother and a daughter who have literally sat and prayed in our living room over whether or not this is the house for them. Of course, we just LOVE that and we are praying that if the Lord wants it to work out, we will hear something official soon.

2) On the house front here, we continue to live with my parents while we are looking at houses. We have found a 1920's house that sits right on a park in town that we are currently praying over ourselves. It's currently a two-family house (though it's really too small to fit both our family and my sister Megan in, so we're praying about taking it and converting it into a one family house. Of course, if we go that route, we would not have the advantage of Megan's rent to offset the mortgage so we're praying fervently over what God wants for us. We've had a lot of trouble finding a multi-family home that is livable (which is the reason why we finally began looking at one-family homes). Here's the amazing thing (my Charlotte friends will die over this), the asking price on this home is $89,000! However, don't get too excited about how "cheap" that is. You see, the difference between Charlotte and NY is that the taxes are so outrageous in these parts of NY (because welfare is so high) that this $89k home would actually cost us over $400 a MONTH in taxes alone!! GULP! We would love your prayers as we seek God's direction over this prospect. Although it's not an overly charming house in many regards, we believe it might be a good prospect for holding ministry events at (ie. small groups and even games of pick-up soccer in the park). Please pray with us!

3) Finally, and most importantly, what's up with the ministry stuff? WOW is all we can say. In just a short 4 weeks of being in town and being able to focus solely on the ministry development, we have already seen God moving in so many ways. We have spent countless hours with our ministry partners, Rob and Molly as we've shared vision, gone over details and prayed together. We have met with local pastors and sought wise counsel, we have identified another couple who would like to possibly join us in leadership in the ministry and Donn has a meeting with the mayor on Wednesday. In the meantime, as part of my experience back in the full-time working world, I have begun to meet many people through various chamber of commerce meetings or other events.

It is truly amazing to sit back and realize all that has already transpired in such a short amount of time. God is so good!

And so, there's the most recent update. And now I must head off to work (which, by the way, I am absolutely loving). I miss the kids, but working for hospice has been such a rewarding experience already and I'm in such awe that the Lord provided this opportunity. At the same time, I am so excited to see how well Donn has transitioned to being the primary caregiver for the kids. He is so great with them and he's finding that the time being home is allowing him to spend many more hours on ministry preparation also.

Well, I'd better run...hi ho..hi ho...!!!

Out my window...

2010-01-23T11:48:00.005-05:00

I'm sitting here on my computer as I look out my back window at the gorgeous view.

The sun is shining...the snow is covering the ground and the trees are glistening.

The temperature is warm (that's what NYers say when it's above 25) and the day is just beautiful....

However...

That's not what makes it beautiful to me.

To me; this is what makes the view so perfect!

A Computer Is No Good Without A Mouse...

2010-01-20T18:46:00.004-05:00

So, here's how the story begins...

You see, after the horrific, wintry drive to NY I was elated to finally arrive safely. We unpacked my van, which was filled to the brim with our belongings, and we began to get settled in at my in-law's home.

About 2 days after we arrived, I was paying bills on my computer in the finished basement when all of a sudden it just shut down. It was very strange because the computer had been working fine since we had been given it (if you recall, we had a computer issue a few months ago and someone generously stepped in and blessed us with their older desktop).

Needless to say, I was completly stumped. The only thing I could surmise was that maybe the extremely cold temperatures somehow messed the computer up as I was "stranded" for a bit during the horrible storm on the drive to NY.

Over the next few days the computer issues continued. One minute it wouldn't turn on - the next it wouldn't turn off! It was frustrating to say the least.

About this same time, I began to notice a smell. For a few days I kept my mouth shut. Afterall, I was living with my in-laws...don't really want to rock the boat too much when you've got a free roof over your head!

Right around day three I finally lost it. The smell was deadly and I could no longer stand to go in the comptuer room at all. I finally told Donn that I thought something must have died in there.

Being the sweet studly hubbie that he is; he proceeded to take down all the basement ceiling tiles in search for the wretched stench. After quite a little search, he located the dead mouse and the boys anxiously stood around watching as Daddy saved the day by dumping the nasty little creature in the garbage.

Crisis Averted - Or so we thought...

A few more days passed and I finally spoke up again:
"Honey, I know you just dumped a mouse, but the smell is still here! I can't believe such a little mouse could still be smelling up the house after being gone for 2 days!"

At this point, I think I was pushing the envelope a bit. Studly Hubbie responded with something to the degree of "so find it yourself" and I decided that the best option might just be if I kept my mouth shut.

Low and behold, about a week later, we packed up the minivan again and headed to our next destination of my parent's house (when you're livin' for free, sometimes you just gotta keep a movin ya'll!)

Donn packed my van to the gills again, but this time I had to drive directly from my in-laws to work, where my van sat all day before I could get to my parent's house to unload it.

As I opened my car door after work that day, I was immediately struck with the stench.

Now; my van doesn't ever smell peachy clean (after all, I have boys) but this was ridiculous. I actually muttered under my breath, "Oh good...it's following us!"

I stormed through the door that night and declared, "MY VAN STINKS!!! Whatever stunk in your parent's house has now invaded my van! It's following us!! DO SOMETHING!"

Donn looked at me like a deer in headlights and said, "Cyndie, how could the smell be following us...seriously, think about that."

I screamed (without really thinking): "I DON'T KNOW! It's like it's in the computer or something!"

And that's when we realized...it must be the computer!

So, to wrap up this little story, let's just skip the juicy details about how the little mouse somehow thought my computer tower seemed like a cozy little penthouse and he burrowed his little squishy face right through the vent on the back.

Then let's not get into the details about how the furry little friend was clearly the stupidest animal known to man and he couldn't figure out where the exit door of said penthouse was.

And we won't elaborate on how bad the garage smelled when our cutey patootey little fuzz ball was removed from his little abode.

And we certainly won't explore the simple irony that before we moved our cuddly little buddy from his resting place, the computer was at least sporatically working - however, since his departure we can no longer get it to turn on!

And so, this is the moral of my story.

A computer really is no good without its mouse.

The End.

The Tables Have Turned...

2010-01-14T21:16:00.003-05:00

If you had told me 6 months ago that I would be working full-time and that my husband would become the primary care-giver to our kids, I would never have believed you...but that's the reality of our world right now.

God has been so good to us and we both feel completely blessed. When all was said and done and I began working full-time, we added up the cost of daycare and found that if Donn was working we would actually be losing money.

It took a few days for us to both come to terms with what that really meant, but this morning I kissed my family goodbye as I headed out the door to work. In the meantime, Donn spent the day with Elle and Brekyn and worked on many details for the ministry.

As we look at the situation now, we can see that it is the most ideal situation. Since we have gotten here, Donn has been SO busy working that he's had very little time to get much ministry planning done. All of a sudden, he's finally got the time AND he gets to be with the kids.

We are all doing really well and feeling very blessed! God is good!

:)

2010-01-13T07:10:00.001-05:00

Hi ho ~ Hi ho... :)

The New Normal...

2010-01-11T22:07:00.003-05:00

Well, here we have it....this is the "new normal". Ta ta to the days of posting on my blog at 2pm while the babes slept snuggly in their beds during naptime.

As of Wednesday I will officially be re-entering the full-time work force (gulp)!

I GOT ME A JOB!!! Well, okay - GOD, got me a job! GO GOD!! YOU ROCK!

And so, it appears as though the new norm may look a bit more like me trying to write posts that make sense somewhere between the hours of 10pm and 2am. Good luck with that! :)

Don't worry, I won't be offended if you decide that my words come out like a drunken cow or my sense of humor gets really bad late at night. It doesn't matter. In 'Cyndie-land' anytime is a good time to be 'Always Talking!'

So, GO GOD for working out one major detail in this new adventure!

For those of you who are wondering, I will be the Marketing and Development Director for Hospice! I'm so excited to get to do Marketing for another company that I really can get excited about (like I was with the Eagles and Christian Adoption Services in Charlotte).

Now, onto another major decision. My sweet husband's job actually pays so little that it would be cheaper for him to stay home with the kids than for us to pay for day care (gulp for him).

Oh, how God keeps us on our toes! We'll let you know how that one turns out! :) Might want to say a prayer for Donn tonight! (truthfully, he's fine with whatever God leads us to do). Whatever gets this ministry off the ground! It's so exciting to see God unfold His plan!

Lessons Learned From NY...

2010-01-07T21:33:00.005-05:00

Just a few lessons from our time so far:

1) Don't assume that gas stations take credit cards- OR- if you do find yourself in this unfortunate predicament, play dumb (not too hard for me to do) and toss your hair as you talk about how you're from a "big city" and had no clue that a gas station could still exist without taking credit cards. Usually this tends to make the gas station clerk feel foolish for living in the year 2010 and being so behind the times. Tell him it's okay and all is forgiven and then release him to return behind the counter to listen to his 8 tracks.

2) Car pool lines don't exist when picking up your children from school.
"Carpool?? What do you mean by carpool? Um..Mrs. Truax, we don't have carpool lines here...at 3:10 we open the front doors and the kids will come out of the building. It's your job to know what your kid looks like and try to wrangle him into your car."

That's what I call high-tech security! :)

3) Of course texting while driving is outlawed here!! It IS dangerous! As a matter of fact, DRIVING while driving should be outlawed here! How in the world could someone text while driving when you are constantly trying to keep your car from losing its front tires in the 4 million potholes in the road! Add in a few deer and a random turkey and you're really in trouble!

4) Recess is rarely outdoors during the winter because it's WAY too cold...however, if recess does happen to be outdoors, be sure to bring your snowpants because you'll be borrowing one of the school sleds and you'll have sledding races down the back hill.

And finally, perhaps the most critical lesson of all time....

5) When living with your in-laws NEVER - I repeat N-E-V-E-R take your Mother-in-law's travel mug from the cupboard. Apparently Mother-in-laws have a deep rooted connection to their travel mugs and if you want to keep a roof over your head it's best to avoid travel mugs all together. Stick to just stopping at Dunkin Donuts for your morning coffee:) (FYI- No Mother-in-laws were harmed in the writing of this post)(AKA-she told me to write it) :)

I Love NY!

What A Few Days!!

2010-01-05T21:45:00.005-05:00

Whew....that's all I can say.

What a BUSY but great few days it's been!

I spent yesterday morning reconnecting with my friend from childhood who "ironically" just moved back to town last month. We had a great time getting our kids together to play and catching up. I know that I will NEVER replace the amazing friends that I have in Charlotte, but it definitely felt good to actually sit with another friend and sip tea again. God is good!

I then ran back to my parents house where I began opening the mail. I was blown away to open a $500 check from a friend of ours back in Charlotte. The timing was clearly of God because I had really been praying for God to hug me and remind me that He is in control of all of this adventure. I was shocked to find that gift and it immediately gave me peace.

I then received a phonecall from the person who I was supposed to meet with back in December regarding a Marketing Director position (back when I missed the interview because of the bad weather in Virginia). He asked if it would be possible to meet that afternoon at 4pm for our interview. I said "sure" and proceeded to jump in the shower and dig out my "fancy pants!"

Just as I finished getting ready for the interview, I received a phonecall from our amazing church back in Charlotte letting me know that they had collected money for C1 through their Christmas Eve offering and they would be mailing a check for over $2500 to the ministry! Praise GOD!!! If I hadn't been in my fancy pants with my cute high-heeled boots on, I may have actually run around the block screaming!

I then proceeded to the interview where after an hour and a half I was given a tentative job offer! Basically, if the Marketing Director position gets officially approved for the new budget, then I have been offered the job (possibly beginning as early as MONDAY - GULP!)!! I will hear on Saturday whether or not I begin work Monday!

And so, today has now been a whirlwind of finding out about daycares in the area and sorting through all the emotions. I can't help but praise God for all of these events. The thought of working full-time and being away from my kids is heartbreaking on many levels to me, but I can hardly look at this opportunity and ignore who has orchestrated it all. God is SO GOOD!

In the meantime, Donn continues to be swamped as he trains for his new position with the special needs facility. He has begun attending a bible study with Rob (our partner in the ministry) on Tuesday nights. The bible study reaches out to men who are associated with the Crisis Pregnancy Center in Gloversville. Donn has only attended 2 weeks of the study but it has quickly become his absolute favorite time of week. It is so encouraging to hear him talk about this precious time with these men!

God has been so faithful!

We continue to pray for His absolute direction and for the rest of the pieces to fall into place (such as the house selling in Charlotte). I find peace knowing that God is in control of it all!

A New Start...

2010-01-04T09:56:00.002-05:00

Ayden began his first day at his new school today. I must admit, it was quite the experience. The "packing" alone seemed to take forever! If I hadn't known differently I would have sworn the little kid was going for a weeklong vacation. His backpack was HUGE! The days of packing a little snack and pencils are over.

Today we grabbed his backpack and crammed in boots, gloves, a hat, snowpants, extra sneakers and then we tried to fit a few school supplies in;).

He was a little nervous to meet new people but the minute he walked in the principal introduced him to about 5 other kids who are in his class. Ayden immediately gravitated toward another little boy and the two of them walked off together as I stood there praying for my little boy.

He's embarking upon something that I can honestly say I never experienced. Short of going to kindergarten, I never was the "new kid" at school. He asked me a ton of questions on the drive to school...things like, "Are there bullies at his new school" and "What do they do if they have indoor recess." It was clear that his mind was fixated on this day and I kept silently praying that God would give him courage. I was so proud when he turned to me and said, "Bye Mom."

This road of transition is FAR from over for our family but I am thankful for the little steps that we took today.

The View...

2009-12-31T11:46:00.003-05:00

My view looks a lot different as I peer out my back door today. As a matter of fact, our "view" has changed a lot as we close out 2009 and welcome in a new year.

Though our current view does not quite feel like "home" just yet; it's been a good reminder to me that as Christians our "view" is always supposed to be on things eternal.

A few weeks ago my view consisted of "security", "comfort" and "warmth".

Today I pray that my view will be of "faith", "boldness" and "courage".

As you enter 2010, I encourage you to take a little personal assesment of what your "view" looks like.

Let's make 2010 a year of viewing things eternal.

The actual "view" out my back door this morning:

Balmy Weather...

2009-12-29T14:08:00.003-05:00

I don't know what the problem with everyone is...NY is not such a bad place:) This morning I woke up to the balmy temperature of 9 degrees!! Ahh...sun and humidity, where have you gone? :)

We're doing really well here although I wouldn't say that we're totally into the groove yet. I don't really expect that life will feel too normal until Ayden is back in school and we're out of "vacation" mode.

In the meantime, we're having a blast hanging out with family and meeting with people about the ministry.

Gotta head out now...headin' to the "big city" (aka Albany) to return a broken Christmas gift. :)

Christmas 2009!!

2009-12-27T19:22:00.002-05:00

Better late than never! :)

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

Unto You A Child Is Born!!!

2009-12-25T12:42:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas one and all! Our morning began bright and early (at 6:08) exactly, when two little elves arose and proceeded to wake up the rest of the house!

We are now in the midst of laughter, wrapping paper, superhero costumes and lots of food!

Merry Christmas to everyone! Remember the REAL reason for the day!

I'll be back later with pictures!

We made it!!

2009-12-22T15:11:00.002-05:00

After a trip that was delayed a day due to the HUGE storm, and then involved a 4 hour stint sitting on Hwy 81 in Virginia with the car off so we didn't run out of gas before reaching an exit (aka - no DVD player!!) and then a hotel stay in PA because of black ice - we are FINALLY here!! (How d'ya like that run-on sentence!!)

We are getting settled in and finding it quite the adventure fitting all our "stuff" into our college dorm (I mean bedroom):)

The interview that I had scheduled for Monday had to be rescheduled until after the new year because we got stuck in the storm and ended up behind schedule. I'm bummed not to have made it, but I am trusting that, once again, God has a reason for all of these delays. As we've continuously seen, this entire adventure is in God's hands...He's made it very clear that there is NOTHING that is going to be on our schedule!

Ayden and I spent today getting him registered in his new school where he walked around with the principal and met a few teachers who knew his YaYa.

It was 15 degrees here this morning and although my car is desperate for a wash because of the snow we drove through to get here; I am unable to clean it for fear that it would freeze shut if I do:)

On the bright side, I love wearing the cute scarves that I've had for years and never really needed in Carolina.

So, all in all, we're doing well. We're getting settled in and praying for God's direction now that we're here. We're happy to be back together again and I can't thank you enough for your prayers. We know that MANY of you prayed us into NYS and we feel so blessed! :)

The Other Side...

2009-12-18T00:01:00.000-05:00

Well, this is it.

The internet gets shut off today and Lord willing, we will drive away tomorrow from this place we have called home for over a decade.

It's a hard day - but a good day.

The day is not without tears and heartache and, the more I've thought about that, the more I've felt blessed by that.

For almost 11 years our family has "grown" in this amazing Southern town. We have fallen more in love here, had our children here, laughed with our friends here and cried with our "family" here. I can't imagine what it would be like if we found it easy to leave this place. I feel honored that leaving here is heart wrenching because I know that means I have lived life well here.

There is much being lost - but so much more being gained.

Following this calling is by far, the hardest thing we have ever done; but there are times when you need to take the step to get out of the boat.

This is that time in our life.

And so, I bid you farewell for the final time from my Southern home. Though the words sting as they come off my lips, they also bring with them a great amount of excitement and anticipation for things to come.

Lord, I thank you for this chapter of my life and what it represents. It's a very hard chapter to close, but I turn the page knowing full well that you are on the other side.

Executive Decision...

2009-12-17T15:10:00.002-05:00

I just pulled rank and made an executive decision.

You see, I have an amazing friend who knows that my biggest love in this life are my swiss cake rolls (well; and my coffee). This sweet friend brought a few swiss cake rolls to our Mom's group today in honor of my last day there. I ate one at the the luncheon and then my friend told me to bring the rest home.

At first I refused since I have NO will power and knew I would just eat them by the time I got home, but then I decided that I would save them and give them as a treat to the kids in their stockings.

Then I got home.

When I got home the reality of all I still have to pack kicked in and I began to stress.

I made myself a cup of coffee but it didn't work.

And then I looked over to the counter...sitting so nicely strewn in amongst all the piles of papers and lunch boxes were the 2 remaining swiss cake rolls....Sigh.

And, so I made an executive decision.

I need a little peace and quiet and a break from all the emotions and chaos.

I need two things - my Bible and a swiss cake roll.

So, I apologize to my poor children. Mommy thought she'd have the strength to save the treats for your stockings but, alas, they are now gone...

And now I must be off...gotta spend some time with my Father and my swiss cake rolls.

Better luck next time kids.

Moving Boxes and Post-It Notes...

2009-12-15T14:56:00.003-05:00

It's seems like no matter how hard I try lately, I look up at the clock and realize that it's almost time for some kids to wake up from naps and my blogging time has once again gone to the birds (gasp!)

In an effort to give you some insight into our crazy life, I will do a really quick update now before I hear the pitter patter of little feet.

Donn is currently in NY and we are praising God that his truck and he made it safely there! He arrived last night and is working today doing some temp stuff for his uncle who is a CPA. It's a huge blessing to have him be able to make a little money during this interim time.

We have also been blessed as Donn has received a part-time job at a facility that works with special needs people. It's only PT now and doesn't pay very well, but it truly is a blessing and hopefully it will go into FT soon. In the meantime, it's what God has given us so we'll take it. He begins the training for that position in January.

In the meantime, as we've been looking at job opportunities in NY, we've realized that most of the FT jobs are geared more toward my administrative capabilities. Because of that, we decided that it makes sense for me to begin looking for FT work. I sent out two resumes last week for secretarial positions. I haven't done secretarial work in a long time but when the options are few you take what you can get.

I was incredibly blessed to receive a call the next day from one of the employers letting me know that they are currently in the process of trying to get approval for adding a Marketing Director to their company. He then mentioned that since my work has always been in the Marketing Director realm, he would like to meet with me about that. Of course, none of it is set in stone just yet, but it truly blew my mind to think that God might actually give me a job doing exactly what I do here from my home office!

And finally, with all of the change of events and with me now scheduling interviews, the realization that I need to get to NY has kicked in. And so, the kids and I will officially be leaving on Saturday. We had always hoped that the house would be sold by the time we left, but it just doesn't seem to be God's plan right now.

And so I am surrounded in a sea of boxes and post-it notes as we prepare to officially make the move to NY. It's been a bitter-sweet week as I think of closing this chapter of my life but I can honestly say that I think I am ready. God has brought us through so much in the last few months and we've seen innumerable blessings. I am ready to see what He has planned for NY and for our family!

A Princess Turns 2!!

2009-12-13T00:01:00.000-05:00

I can hardly believe that for 2 years my life has been blessed with this precious little cutie pie! I can honestly say that I feel like I have been given WAY more than I ever deserve as a mother.

As I celebrate your birthday my sweet little Elle, let me tell you some of my favorite things about you.

I love your amazing smile with your adorable little teeth. You melt my heart when you look at me and say "lub you."

I love your hair that smells like fruit and your skin that is softer than a bunny's fur.

I love watching you dance and look at me funny when I try to dance with you.

I love the way you walk up to your "baby dow" and kiss her on the cheek.

I love it when you give us your "big smile" where your head shakes because you are smiling so huge!

I love it when you come running through the room after bath time yelling "I'm nakey!"

I love it when you look at me when I'm having a bad day and you pat my head and say "okay Mommy".

Elle, you have brought me more joy than I could ever put into words. I am honored to have been chosen to be your Mommy and I love you with all my heart.

Happy 2nd Birthday Dolly!

A Little Update...

2009-12-10T16:49:00.002-05:00

So, life has been interesting around here (to say the least).

Donn continues to still be here despite the fact that he initially tried to leave for NY over a week and a half ago. After his truck broke down on the trip to NY, he was towed back here where we have now had to wait for it to be fixed. What was supposed to have taken 2 days has stretched on for much longer and yet we continue to be amazed at all that God is showing us.

For one, He is clearly showing us that nothing will be done in any timing other than His own. This has been a hard lesson to sometimes take in, but we can both see clearly that we need to learn it more each day.

Secondly, we can state beyond a shadow of a doubt that this ministry will only bloom through faith and prayer. The incidents, emotions and fears of the past few weeks have shown us that we really have no place to turn but to God Himself. In the times when we feel weak or hopeless; our only refuge is Him alone. Those are the moments when we crawl up in His lap and beg for Him to wipe our tears.

Finally, I'd say another big lesson I'm recognizing is that we are being given the opportunity to find joy in the midst of the trials. We're moving to an area of the world where minimum wage is the norm, jobs are scarce and hope is often more scarce. I can't think of a better way for us to have true compassion then to be forced into a situation where we have a better understanding of what it's like to live with these trials.

Don't get me wrong; I don't enjoy living life constantly carrying a calculator and wondering about tomorrow; but I also have to admit that there's really no point in ministering to people who struggle with money if you don't understand what it's like to struggle with money. When I think of things through that light, I can't help but praise God that we are walking down this path. Learning how to find joy in the midst of these trials has not been a fun lesson but is one that I clearly needed to learn.

When I sit and write down all of these thoughts it seems clear to me that God is still VERY MUCH in control of all that is going on in our lives right now. I praise Him for all He's doing and I look forward to the day when He gives us the green light to move forward.

Old Fashioned Fun

2009-12-09T09:45:00.002-05:00

Last night I had a stroke of genius (humble, I know).

You see, in an effort to use our money wisely during this time, our family has been focusing a lot more on conserving energy by changing simple things. For example, I happen to be the worst person in the world when it comes to leaving lights on. Truth be told; I LOVE lights! Little end-table lamps shining in the corner of a room make me feel cozy. That's a great thing, but I have a tendency to just leave them on ALL THE TIME so that I feel "cozy" when I walk into that room.

It's worked fine for us up until now; but with this new budget (or lack thereof) we are making some changes. I have been much more conscious of turning off lights and only using what we need.

Last night our family decided to take it to an extreme. As I looked at a picture of our little Prince from Africa, I said to the kids, "Hey! Let's have an old-fashioned night!"

We literally ate dinner before it got dark and once the sun went down we turned off all lights except the Christmas tree and some candles. We then got in our comfy cozies and cuddled under blankets in the living room while the kids sang and we played games.

It's amazing how something so simple can be so cool. We had a blast as we talked about what it must be like for Prince every night to only rely on candles. It really makes me appreciate the life we have.

Sure, we may not have much by American standards but the fact remains that our little Prince would think we were rich to see all that God has blessed us with. It's a really good thing for me to remember during this Christmas season.

Short Term Memory...

2009-12-07T14:13:00.002-05:00

Praise the Lord I have short term memory (in some cases; VERY short term memory)!

You see, the other day it hit me that my sweet little poofy haired girl is turning 2 in just a few days.

Sure;for many moms that would mean a quick assesment of gifts purchased and cake choices - But not for me.

For me, the age 2 holds another VERY significant meaning...

NO MORE PACI's and time for a BIG GIRL BED!

AHHH!!

And so; with just 6 days to go before the big 2, we have "mailed all the paci's to Santa to give to other babies" and we have converted the crib into a toddler bed.

Surprisingly...the paci thing seemed to go okay. Not sure what in the world Santa is gonna do with a bunch of used paci's but that's his problem not mine!

The big girl bed???

Well, let's just say I have finally stopped putting her clothes back into her drawers and yesterday I had the distinct pleasure of searching the house for the "secret key" in order to get into her bedroom after she locked the door.

Add in the simple fact that Daddy has left for NY and I think it's safe to say that I may in fact be in a rubber room by the end of the week! :)

Soooo; all I can say is praise the Lord for short term memory...you see; somehow, with each child I manage to forget how much I hate these little "stages" of life.

Next up - potty training....Hmm...pretty sure I hate that "stage" also. :)

Friday...

2009-12-04T14:54:00.003-05:00

The sweet smell of a freshly mopped kitchen floor.

The hum of the dryer in the background.

The sense of accomplishment in a list almost completed

AND a free babysitter coming over tonight!

What a great Friday!!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

The Will of God...

2009-12-03T15:59:00.005-05:00

"The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you."
Anonymous

I have repeated this phrase in my mind countless times over the past few days.

Donn's official last day at church was on Sunday and he was scheduled to leave town to go ahead of us to NY on Tuesday morning. About 3 hours after he drove away, he called me and said that his transmission had gone on his old truck. We then spent the remainder of the day watching God provide.

First He provided for Donn's truck to be towed back to Charlotte.

Next he provided for a group of people to come beside us to pay for the new transmission in the truck.

Finally, he provided plane tickets so that Donn can still fly to NY to be at an interview which he had previously scheduled (which he would have missed because of the truck still being in the shop).

Many people have responded to the incidents of the past few months (like the house sale falling through and the truck breaking down) by asking us if God is saying that we should be staying in NC. Although we've asked ourselves those same questions; I can honestly say that our spirits tell us that these trials are from Satan. God is still at work even in the midst of what seems to the world as a disappointment.

In our hearts we know that God has called us to this new ministry. Every part of our being tells us that these trials are a direct result of the fact that Satan is trying his hardest to beat down our spirits and keep us from getting to NY.

On the flip side; God is shining brightly as He provides for us in countless ways such as car repairs and plane tickets.

And so I remeber the quote that I shared with you earlier:
"The will of God will never take you where the grace of God won't protect you."

Today we pray simple prayers. "Lord, let your will be done and let us remain in the center of it. Protect our family...protect our spirits, and guide us down this path."

Faith is not supposed to be easy. I sure wish it could be, but in my heart I know that easy faith is no faith at all.

"The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you."

Amen.

Faith

2009-12-01T14:10:00.002-05:00

Sometimes things don't go as you plan.

Sometimes plans are not the plan.

Sometimes faith requires sitting still and hearing God's voice.

Sometimes it means running and jumping into His arms.

We're watching God unravel His "plan" today. It's a wonderful day...a really hard day and a day that is far from over yet.

More details later, but for right now I will heed the wise words of my sister and go spend some time with my Father.

I'll also leave you with a song that my Mother-in law sent my way after encouraging us in the midst of Satan's arrows.

God is good...faith is real...this is all part of His 'Story'.

Birthday Fun!!

2009-11-30T14:10:00.004-05:00

We just got blessed with a little sunshine in our email inbox!

Today we received this picture of our little Prince in Liberia! Turns out one of the other kids who lives in his foster home recently had a birthday. His amazing Foster Mom threw the little girl a birthday party and I am guessing it was probably one of the first birthday parties our little Prince has ever attended.

What a blessing Prince's foster family is in his life! We miss him terribly and dream of the day when he'll be "home" but we couldn't have asked for a better foster family for him during this time apart!

Prince is the little guy in the "Local" t-shirt.

My Thanksgiving Blessings...

2009-11-24T14:26:00.003-05:00

Counting my blessings as I think of all I am thankful for this Thanksgiving:

My amazing family and incredible kids.

My studly hubbie who still makes my heart skip a beat.

Friends that love me through good and bad.

A Savior that knows EVERYTHING and still thinks I'm His princess.

A home that has given us shelter, love and safety.

"Jobs" that have allowed us to tell people about Christ.

Batman costumes, homemade brownies and hot chocolate.

Time to sit back and reflect on all that I have been given.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

What are you thankful for??

November 23, 2001

2009-11-23T14:59:00.003-05:00

Though I can hardly believe it; 8 years ago today at approximately 6am, I watched all the Black Friday shoppers scurry in and out of the stores via the local news station while my world was forever changed by the arrival of my sweet freckle faced Ayden.

And so; on this special day, I'd like to tell you the top 8 reasons why I love this little boy so much:

1)His absolute passion for serving God
2)His gorgeous brown eyes
3)His love for telling stories
4)His incredible memory
5)His compassionate spirit
6)His sensitive heart
7)His love of athletics
8)His cuddly nature

Ayden, you are my precious little monkey and you make every day brighter with your love and your smile.

I am blessed to be your Mommy and I thank God that you're a part of my life.

Love,
Mommy

... na na na na BATMAN!!

2009-11-19T20:10:00.004-05:00

Came across some pictures while cleaning and couldn't resist!

Donn - Approximately Age 4

Brekyn - Age 4

ABC's...

2009-11-18T20:16:00.002-05:00

Today as I was sitting at my computer I heard my sweet little princess singing the ABC's.

I looked over at her and noticed that she was lying on the ground with her blankie over her face.

I then heard the following song:

"A, B, C, D, Night-night....A, B, C, Night Night."

Gee, do you think she was trying to tell me something?

If only I'd taken all those silly parenting courses....maybe I'd be able to figure out what she's trying to tell me!

Exciting Life...

2009-11-17T13:35:00.004-05:00

Not a whole lot to report on as of right now.

Life is pretty busy this week as we have the Loecken Family (the family that travels in their RV serving the poor) staying in town. We have had such a blast getting to know this amazing family. If you want to hear more about them click here. http://www.thearktour.org/The_ARK_Tour/Home.html

Beyond that, we're still trying to make final decisions about Donn's departure date. We are avoiding actually admitting that he's leaving soon (basic denial ya'll) but in reality we have both realized that it's the best option for now. Luckily, we'll have Christmas vacation to be together.

Now I must go tend to my incredibly exciting mountain of laundry and maybe I'll even shoot for the moon by attempting to get a shower in here someplace! Don't be jealous of my exciting life...I know it's very tempting. :)

Decisions...

2009-11-13T08:23:00.006-05:00

With all that is going on in our life right now, it seems like we are constantly seeking God's will regarding decisions that have to be made.

Although it's often hard for me to be patient, it's also a really exciting time of waiting before God and allowing Him to truly care for us.

We are now in the midst of another big decision.

Yesterday I was sitting and praying when something hit me.

It was a thought that had actually never entered my mind before - and it really threw me for a loop.

It was the simple thought that maybe it is NOT the best decision for my husband to stay here once his time at the church is finished. Maybe, in fact, it would be wiser for him to go ahead and move to NY to begin pursuing a job there and to begin getting to know the people of the town.

I'll admit...it was hard for me to even bring myself to mentioning this possibility to Donn. The thought of being left behind to sell, pack and manage the house by myself (well, with the help of 3 little kids) is enough to make me sick; but maybe-just maybe-this would be the best long term option for all of us.

We had initially been assuming that we would all stay here until the house sold and Donn would just get a job here in the "meantime". Don't get me wrong; we would love to all go to NY right away; but the cost of carrying the bills there and also the house here are just not feasible for now.

With just Donn going (and not all of us in tow) he could easily stay with his family and live rent-free for a bit.

Nevertheless, with this turn of events, our world has become a little more complicated. We have not made any official decisions yet but the more we talk about it, the more we both realize that it may be for the best. Yikes...it may be best for my husband to move to NY in just a few weeks!! Ahhh!

Who knows how long it would last...we know we would see eachother when we make the trip there for Christmas, but beyond that it would just be dependent upon the house sale here.

I realize that to some people, it may be no big deal to think of separating the family for a bit. However, during our early years as missionaries with the sports ministry, Donn often spent almost a month at a time away and we have since said that we would never want that to happen again. It's a hard life and it's particularly hard for a family that does so much together. We have already cried at the mere thought of it.

And yet; just because it may be painful doesn't mean that it may not be God's will.

And so, again Iwould love your prayers if you feel led. It's just one more chance to surrender on this journey that has already been such a blessing to our family. I am excited to see how God will answer this time! :)

Green Tea...

2009-11-11T15:30:00.003-05:00

Monsoon-like rains are pelleting the window and I just arose from a little cat nap with my 4 year old snuggle bug...

Life is good.

I've taken on subbing a bit more these days (at both our church pre-school and another daycare in the area). I'm really enjoying the time there and am actually finding that staying "busy" is helpful since it keeps me from thinking too much about the house sale (or lack thereof).

However, I must admit that this afternoon I am one tired Mommy and I almost welcomed the rain as an excuse to lay down with the kids.

And so now, here I sit with green tea by my side, cozied up in my favorite sweatshirt and sweatpants and thanking God for His goodness...

Despite the fact that life may not always go the way I had planned - I need to remember to pause and thank Him for all the good things in my life...

...for cozy sweatpants, warm tea and sweet little cuddlebugs by my side. Does it really get any better than this??

Welcome To....

2009-11-09T13:42:00.001-05:00

Day 3 of my 23 month old NOT taking a nap!!!

Grr!!!!!

'Nuff said.

I'm BAAAAACKKK!!!!

2009-11-06T11:28:00.003-05:00

Thanks to an amazing friend who had an extra computer sitting around the house, we are now back in business!! :) Not that I have anything brilliant to say but at least I can say it now! Long live ALWAYS TALKING!! :) Have a great weekend!

Technical Difficulty

2009-11-04T10:28:00.003-05:00

Just a quick FYI.

Not that I have throngs of fans or anything, but nevertheless I figured I'd let you know that I won't be blogging very consistently for a while.

Our personal computer crashed (again - 2nd time this year) and obviously, a computer is just not in the cards for right now.

I will do my best to blog as I can get to a public computer, but with 3 kids that is also not an easy feat either.

Please keep checking back though! Don't leave me now!! :)

I feel like one of those stupid computer commercials -
"I'm a PC..."
Of course, if I was a Mac I probably wouldn't keep losing my computer to viruses!! Argghhhh!!

Trick Or Treat!!

2009-11-03T13:16:00.004-05:00

We had a blast trick-or-treating and going to a local Fall Festival! Sure, the rain was a bit of a bummer but that didn't seem to deter the spirit of three kids hyped up on sugar! :)

Manna...

2009-11-02T14:45:00.002-05:00

“He rained down manna for the people to eat. He gave them the grain of Heaven.” Psalm 78:24

There are times when my faith is lacking.
There’s no way around it – my heart knows that God has a plan, but my logical head just doesn’t understand how He is going to ‘fix’ the problems.

Yesterday was one of those days.

Ironically, yesterday was also November 1st…You got it – Bill Paying Day (gasp).

Since the house contract fell through and the reality has hit that Donn will soon be lacking a pay check, while at the same time needing to pay our mortgage, we have been forced to take a hard look at life and prioritize in a major way.

I have always been a pretty well budgeted person, but there is always room for improvement so yesterday I sat and did some major pondering.

After paying the bills I had literally hit rock bottom. I sat and sobbed at my desk as I looked at the money left in our account and calculated how far that money would last once the paychecks end…Gulp.

I then grabbed the grocery list and faced a harsh reality.
I couldn’t spend a dime from our bank account. Not one dime.

Sure, there is still some money in there – but I can’t justify spending it when I know what we’re potentially walking in to.

I reached into my wallet and looked to see how much cash I had on me.

$11.

Hmmph…that’s not gonna go too far.

But I felt God saying, “Try me.”

And so I vowed that for this week I wouldn’t spend any money from our account for groceries. I’ll use the $11 and trust God for the rest.

So last night, me and my $11 went to the grocery store. With my list prioritized into “must haves” and “maybe haves” I walked the aisles of Aldi.

Now, let me just stop and say that for me to publicly admit I shop at Aldi is a pretty big deal. Over the years I have grown to love Aldi and it has saved our family some major moolah. However, it’s certainly not the most glamorous place on the planet and bagging my own groceries took some getting used to. Needless to say, I went to Aldi with my list in one hand and my calculator in another (oh yes I did!!). I sat and calculated every purchase I put in the cart!

Even during my college days I never once did that!

As I got to the bottom of my list of “must haves” I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to get a few things…cereal, shampoo, tissues…those would have to wait. I literally prayed a little prayer of “God, we could use some cereal and shampoo…I guess toilet paper would work fine for tissues.”

Then I paid my whopping $10.46 bill and went home.

Today, as I sat with some of my amazing friends in bible study, we all laughed as I recounted my story of shopping with $11 and a calculator. We prayed together for God’s direction and provision as we make this transition and I felt this absolute sense of God’s peace.

And wouldn’t you know; God showed up.

One of my friends looked across the table and said, “You don’t happen to need cereal do you?”

“WHAT!! Are you kidding me?? That’s exactly what I need!”

Apparently she had encountered a great deal and had a ton of extra cereal that she just couldn’t pass up!

And, of course, because God is so good, when my friend brought the cereal to my house later in the day, she also filled a bag of other items that she had found when she was bargain shopping. Go figure, there was a bottle of shampoo and a box of tissues in there!

And, that’s the reason why I hate it when I start to doubt God’s goodness in my life.

He saw the tears I shed yesterday and he loves me despite the lack of faith that I can sometimes display. Not only does He still love me, but He also decides to wow me with His absolute provision for what I need (and don’t even need).

And that’s the manna that God provided for me today. Sure, it was in the form of cereal, shampoo and tissues, but there is no doubt that it was directly from God Himself!

Now - if I look outside and see some white bread stuff falling from the sky…wow- that would make for a great story! :)After today, I would say that anything is possible! He’s just THAT good!

My Manna From Heaven!

Good Morning America

2009-10-30T15:00:00.006-04:00

You may remember this family.

I showed a clip from their website on my blog a few months ago.

They are the Loecken family and they sold their huge suburban Atlanta home in 2007 in order to buy an RV. They have now been travelling across America encouraging people to get out of their comfort zones and serve God. Every place they go they serve in the community and spread the love of Christ.

I'll be honest, when I first read about them I thought they might be a bit weird. However, over the past few months I've had quite a few interactions with them and I can't get over how "normal" they are. They are a real family, with 4 kids who just love the Lord and have decided that living for Him is really what it's all about.

I am thrilled because they will be with us in just a few weeks speaking to our youth and serving alongside of us in our community!

And guess what???? They were on Good Morning America this morning! :)

CLICK HERE FOR GMA VIDEO
Way to go Loeckens!! Way to go God! :)

Hamburgers!!!

2009-10-29T13:59:00.003-04:00

I took a little break from our recently hectic life to step back and focus on the important things...

HAMBURGERS!!!!!!!!!!

Brekyn's big preschool Halloween party is tomorrow and I'm in charge of the snacks!

TRICK OR TREAT!!

Have a hamburger cookie!

In case you're dying to make a "Hamburger" all your own; here's the deal:

The "buns" are sugar cookies with egg spread on the top and sesame seeds over that (then just bake following the directions)
The "hamburgers" are either the large peppermint patties OR I used chocolate covered marshmallow cookies (cuz they're WAY cheaper) - FRUGAL MOMMY HERE!
The "lettuce" is green colored coconut.
The "ketchup" and "mustard" are icing and are used to glue all the pieces together.

VOILA!! Hamburgers for the person with a sweet tooth!

When I know I should trust...

2009-10-28T11:42:00.003-04:00

What do you do when you know you should trust...

You know you have to trust...

You know you want to trust...

BUT you're really struggling with the reality of it??

Those are the questions perplexing me at the moment...

Since the house sale has fallen through we have been thrown into a spin of re-listing the house, re-cleaning the house, re-budgeting and reevaluating the plans we thought had been set.

Donn resigns at church as of November 29th so we are now having to seriously look at the possibility that we could in fact be unemployed and yet still have a house payment to make.

That's a scary place to be when you have been in ministry your entire life and "savings" are not something that you've amassed a great wealth of.

At the same time, because the man who backed out of our house contract had an inspection done, we're now aware of some of the "problems" that came up with the house.

Unfortunately, being aware of them means that we now have to either disclose them to any potential buyers or we need to fix them immediately. Even more unfortunate is the fact that the inspection turned up some bad siding so we are now having to re-side 2 major portions of the house this weekend. Luckily I have a studly hubbie and some good buddies who can do that sort of thing, but obviously every dime spent right now means even less to carry us through when the paychecks stop coming.

And so I sit.

I sit and pray a lot...

I sit and beg God to fill me with the peace that He gave me the day this all first happened, and I sit and remind myself that we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this move is ordained by God.

There are no doubts in our minds. God told us two specific things:
1) That we are to move to NY to start a much needed ministry in a very dark area and
2) That the end of November was the time for Donn to resign from church.

That is what we've known all along.

This was all part of God's plan. It's just my heart and head that need a bit of adjustment time as the weight of it all sinks in.

And yet I've been reminded in many ways today that God is not worried a bit about the things of this world. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He has a perfect buyer set for our home...He could still choose to sell it before the end of November if He wants to.

HE KNOWS.

And again I find comfort in that fact.

He's already walked this path...He knows the rocks and valleys that lie in the way and He's making the way clear even as we speak. It doesn't mean that we won't have to climb over some boulders or pass through rough waters as we walk this path - it simply means that we will come out on the other side exactly as He has planned.

And again I remind myself that in these times when I know I should have faith; I may need to just crawl up in my Father's arms and beg for Him to give me the faith to trust and believe in His plan.

Amen.

Trust....

2009-10-26T12:06:00.003-04:00

Our buyer backed out from our house contract today.

Funny thing is; I think I'm okay.

We started to sense that something was going on this weekend when the buyer seemed very distant and began asking a lot of questions.

Sure, I'm bummed and of course I now have that feeling of "Great, so we now have a house payment and in just a few weeks we no longer have a paycheck" but in reality, I keep feeling God asking me "DO YOU REALLY TRUST ME?"

The human side of me wants to scream and say, "Come on!! Why couldn't this have gone smoothly!" But the other side of me is sitting here thinking that usually when things go "smoothly" God isn't as glorified.

There have been plenty of other times in my life when things haven't gone "smoothly" like I thought they should....

Like when our old church literally went "out of business" and my husband was left without a job. Life was scary and we didn't know what to make of it all; but then this amazing church came to our attention and they offered my husband a job doing exactly what he loves to do and working with some incredible people - hmm - yup, that was "ironic!"

Or, how about when we got the phonecall that the orphanage in Ethiopia was not going to be able to get us a child! Yea, that was a really rough day! Of course, just a few hours later we got another phone call that there was a baby being born any second who didn't have a family! Hmm...we now call our little miracle, 'Elle!' Yea, that was "ironic" too!

Then there was the time when we put an offer on a house that was "just perfect" for our family! I loved everything about the house and couldn't imagine the offer being refused since it was just a little bit less than the asking price. Sure, it was at the top end of what we had planned on spending, but the house was just incredible! Then, surprisingly, the offer was refused and I was beside myself! Of course, just a few days later we stumbled upon this more perfect house that was actually at the bottom end of our price range. We now watch our kids run through the back woods laughing and I realize that this house was meant to be our home all along - how "ironic!"

And so, I pray for the ability to trust right now. There have never been any doubts about our calling to NY. We know this is the Lord's plan for our family. So now, I pray for the wisdom to hear what He's saying and what His plan is for our family.

And I trust....

I trust that in just a short time I will be able to look back and say, "remember that time when things seemed to fall apart with the sale of our house?? Well, let me tell you how God showed up!"

Amen.

Adoption Update!!

2009-10-23T13:58:00.002-04:00

Good news!!

It doesn't actually affect our adoption of Prince, but we did just receive word that Liberia is now processing adoptions that had court decrees before January of last year (when the moratorium was first begun); as well as special needs adoptions and adoptions of Liberian children to Liberian families!

Like, I said, we don't fall into any of those categories but I can't help but think that at this point, any step is a step in the right direction!!

Oh, Prince....one day we will see you home! :)

Poor little guy - now when he gets "home" it will be coming "home" to snow and winter jackets! :) Big difference from 105 degree weather!! I'm sure he'll love it though! :)

Nostalgia....

2009-10-22T14:54:00.003-04:00

Shed a few tears today....

Nope, nothing major happened - no sick kiddos, no bad phonecalls...just a realization.

Today I cut down my hostas.

I realized as I mowed my lawn and cut down my hostas and perennials that it was the last time I would work on my Southern gardens.

...The gardens that I've loved so much and have worked so hard to keep up with.

...The back yard that I once worried was "way too big" to handle when we first bought this house - and yet now is my favorite part of our home.

It's a strange feeling to say such a slow goodbye to all of these things that I love so dearly.

I prayed a little prayer as the tear ran down my cheek:

"Lord, please let me plant new hostas with new roots in our new home."

And the fact is; I know He loves me so much that He will allow me to plant new gardens and new memories.

And once again, the painful freedom of sweet surrender. :)

A Better "Me"...

2009-10-21T15:09:00.003-04:00

I had a conversation with a great friend this morning about how "good" (or bad) we are at parenting.

The conversation stemmed from our realization that our 2nd and 3rd children seemed to know so much less than our 1st children did at the same age.

For example, my first son knew letters and numbers by the time he was 2 and a half. I remember working with him to recognize words when he was just 2. He could readwords like Mommy, Daddy and Nana at a very young age.

In turn, by the time he entered pre-school he was writing his name on his own, knew numbers easily and knew all his shapes and colors.

Yup, I was on the ball...

Then I had my second child.

Well, as you can guess, my second (and third) children just don't have that kind of "training" yet. Why would they? I just haven't taken the time to "train" them in that way! Life has gotten busier and flash cards and cute little learning games just haven't been my priority.

And that breaks my heart.

After the conversation with my friend, it made me realize how much I wish I could go back to the way I was as a new mom.

I wish I had the passion, zest and fervor I used to have. I wish I could think of fun activities to do each day with my children.

I wish I wasn't always so consumed with school schedules, homework schedules, church activities and life in general.

I wish I could just take the time...Take the time to be with my kids.

Really BE with my kids.

Make cookies, pick up leaves in the backyard, play on the swingset...just BE.

And so, that is what I'm challenging myself with right now.

I refuse to "compare" myself with any other mothers...there's no good that can come from that.

I don't need to be "like" any other mothers...I just need to be the best I can be at being me.

So, today I'm working at being ME- A better "me" for my children.

What would make you a better YOU??

Constant State Of Surrender...

2009-10-19T14:29:00.002-04:00

Surrender is my word. It's been my word for a few months now as I've felt God continuously prompting me that I needed to surrender many things to His control.

It began with my house...

"Lord, I love this house but it's not my house - it's yours. If you no longer want us to be in this house then I give it to you. I surrender."

Then it was our town...

"Lord, this town is the place where all my children have been born. I love the weather, the people, the stores, the flowers. But, this town may not be where you want me to remain forever and so I give it back to you Lord....it's not mine to hold onto."

Next came our friends...this was a really rough one:

"Lord, my friends have become our family here. We have shared highs and lows and everything in between with them. We have laughed our heads off with them and we have cried our eyes out with them. They know everything there is to know about us and yet they STILL love us. But, Lord, my friends were given to me by You. They are your people - not mine...I surrender my friends to you Lord."

And so, this has been the state of my life for the past few months as God has weeded through all that He needed to weed out in order to prepare me to take this next step into a very difficult and "unpleasant" area of the world.

Some days are better than others. Some days I feel God's peace more strongly. Some days I just wish I could close my eyes and life would go back to complete normalcy with a job, a paycheck and sweet magnolias on the trees.

But, alas, that is not God's will for us any longer. He has called us out and I continue to surrender daily to His calling over our lives.

It's not easy and I have plenty of moments when I wish I could see the future that He has set forth for us; but then I am reminded of all the joy I have experienced as I've learned to say "I surrender."

And so Lord, again I say it... "I surrender."

I surrender to this new direction...I surrender to this new life...I surrender to your plan to financially care for us...I surrender to your plan to house us....I surrender my family to you...I surrender my dreams to you. Lord, I surrender because I know that ultimately, it is in the 'surrender' that we feel the sweet peace of freedom.

I surrender.

Perplexing question of the day...

2009-10-15T16:52:00.003-04:00

From my 7 year old Ayden when picking up a dollar bill:

"Mom, why do our dollar bills still say "In God We Trust" if most people don't really trust in God anymore?"

Uggh....

Good question buddy.

...Makes me sick that at the age of 7 he already recognizes that. :(

As my sweet friend always says....

2009-10-14T12:05:00.002-04:00

"Kill me DEAD now!!"

Whoever invented the flu should be shot dead - no mercy - just shot.

I had big plans for today (including some fun with my dear friend)! But, alas, I will sit here in this bed and keep this heating pad over my eyes.

Oh, how I hate the flu. Welcome to fall! :)

I can only be grateful that 2 of my kids are in school today and my studly hubbie took my little princess to work with him. Praise God! :)

This Says It All...

2009-10-13T00:01:00.001-04:00

Random Updates

2009-10-12T14:39:00.003-04:00

Not a ton of time today to write today. I'm helping a good friend edit a children's book that she wrote (which I can't wait to one day see published!)

Just figured I'd give a quick update while the kids are asleep and I can think straight.

The "move" is approaching and the closing date has been bumped back to Nov. 24th and then we will "rent back" the house until Nov.30th when we leave with the moving van.

In the meantime, I've been sorting through details of deeds, utilities and a bunch of other junk that I can't stand doing. :)

My Mom and Dad will be looking at a property that we're really interested in on Wednesday. It's a house with a warehouse attached. It would be a perfect fit for combining our living and ministry needs. It is definitely a fixer-upper, but we'll see how do-able it is after they see it on Wednesday.

Beyond that, we're just living our normal crazy life and hoping to avoid the swine flu (which seems to be circulating through the church). :)

Hope you're all having a great Monday!

Under Contract!!

2009-10-08T15:16:00.002-04:00

Praise God!! Our house just went under contract! Closing on Nov 16th but not moving out until Nov 30th! God is good! NY here we come!

Hmm...Who is that family??

2009-10-06T15:11:00.004-04:00

If you've got 7 minutes take a look at this video and see if you recognize anyone in particular :).

This is a little video that was done a few months ago for a show on Inspiration Network called Revelations. The show airs in November and is focusing on adoption.

Effeciency...

2009-10-06T12:14:00.002-04:00

Quote from 4 year old Brekyn:

"Mom, thanks so much for doing that for me...by the way, that 'thanks' is good for everything you do for the rest of the day."

Way to be effecient Brekyn - you wouldn't want to be overwhelmed saying thank you all day long!

Gotta love this kid! :)

Just Sayin'...

2009-10-05T08:39:00.003-04:00

Mental note to studly hubbie -

Next time you leave in a rush to get to church, be sure you shut the house door BEFORE you start your truck.

Turns out the firemen frown upon an interrupted football game in order to check out an alarming carbon monoxide detector.

Just sayin'.

It's a good thing I love you and you're such a stud! :)