Israelite...

Why do I do this?

Why do I lose faith so easily?

Why do I let my fears take route and my attitude become sour?

UGGH!! I hate it!

Today's a grumpy day.

It's rainy and dark today; maybe that's part of the problem.

More than anything it just seems to be one of those days when Satan is attacking.

Attacking with fears of finances, fears of future, fears of all kinds.

If there's one thing I've realized it's that I am so much like an Israelite.

I remember years ago studying the journey of the Israelites out of Egypt. Right before their eyes God is doing all these amazing miracles: parting seas, winning wars, the list is a mile long.

But what did they do?

They lived for about a day with the glorious feeling that God was in control

AND THEN THEY CRASHED!!!

"Where is God?" "Why has He left us to die out here!" "It would have been better to stay in Egypt!"

When I read those stories on days when my world is all happy and sunshiny I tend to think judgementally about the Israelites.

What idiots!! Didn't they just see what God had done?

What I tend to forget is that a lot of life happened between the lines of those pages. Spouses had fights, kids rebelled, stomachs grew hungry.

Over the years I've realized that I am no different than the Israelites. I can go from praising God for His provision and goodness to screaming at the top of my lungs wondering where He's gone?

I'm not proud of myself any more than the Israelites were proud of themselves, but I am smart enough to know that when these times hit it is God that I need to curl up next to.

And so, today I'm curling up...fuzzy blanket, warm cup of coffee and sitting in the arms of my Father.

And do you know what?

I know He'll be right there...right where He was all along.

Addendum: During the time it took me to write this post, my phone rang twice.

First it was someone offering me a job that will fit perfectly into my schedule as needed for our kids and will also provide the finances we need to get us through this time.

Secondly it was my husband letting me know that we have now raised enough money for 1 plane ticket to Liberia for our missions trip in March.

Hmm..."Ironic" isn't it? The two very things that were concerning me most and weighing down my heart. If I start to see the Red Sea parting I'll be certain to let you know...the fact is, it is raining pretty hard today and the little drainage stream in my back yard is gushing...I'll keep you posted. :)

PRAISE GOD! He's always there...even when I'm so far away!:)