A Good Laugh...

I have not laughed this hard in a LONG time:)!

These are actual quotes from church bulletins:

> Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM
> in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the
> King.
> ---------------------------------------------
>
> Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid
> of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your
> husbands.
> ----------------------------------------- ------
>
> The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled
> due to a conflict.
> -----------------------------------------------
>
> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile
> at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who
> doesn't care much about you.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
> ---------------------------------------- --------
>
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
> nursery down stairs.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
> the help they can get.
> ---------------------------------------------- --
>
> The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the
> choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in
> the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What
> Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition
> of several new members and to the deterioration of some older
> ones.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
> recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
> deceased person you want remembered.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
> entertainment and gracious hostility.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to
> follow.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
> ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.
> S. is done.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
> would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast
> next Sunday.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
> Please use the back door.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in
> the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited
> to attend this tragedy.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
> Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
> ------------------------------------------------
>
> The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
> campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours