Some days are just harder than others. Some days I miss my "old" life more. Some days the weight of the calling here seems heavier. Some days I long to walk through my old front door and pass by my flower beds. Some days I would give anything to sit around my table with all my old friends and laugh until we cry.
Some days...
Life has certainly gone in a direction that I could never have predicted and there are definitely days when I wish I could wake up, get the kids ready for the day, run off to my old Bible study or Mom's group and re-live that life that I grew so accustomed to.
It could be really easy to focus on all of those things that I miss and 'pity-party' myself into a pile of mush...but then I remember one very important thing...
Beyond a shadow of a doubt.
You see, in every major decision in our marriage, Donn and I have always said that we will not "go" unless we are certain that God has called us. We trust that if God is calling us in a direction, He will give us peace "beyond a shadow of a doubt."
Sometimes this has meant we have chosen NOT to move forward with a decision or plan. Other times God has given us that absolute certainty and we've taken the steps that He's ordained.
I'm grateful for the "beyond a shadow of a doubt" factor in our lives.
This road has already been (and will likely continue to be) the hardest road we have ever walked. The path that has been set before us is windy, rocky and at times unclear - but, in the midst of it all; we know we have been called.
We know that the Lord brought our family to this place at this very time and we trust that He has ordained the steps He wants taken.
He gave us the "beyond a shadow of a doubt" - way back in September...while standing in our kitchen - praying, hugging and crying. We "knew" at that moment that the Lord had truly ordained this "calling."
It was not man-made. It was not man-pursued. It was nothing short of a miracle.
Thank you Lord for the 'Beyond a shadow of a doubt.'
May we cling tightly to it.
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