"Mommy, I'm going to live with you forever."

My 6 year old started crying the other day when we were talking about him getting older.

“Before I know it Ayden, you’ll be going off to college and getting married.”

“I don’t want to get married Mom.”

“Why don’t you want to get married?”

“Because, I don’t want to move out. I’m going to live with you forever.”

The words echoed in my ears. Ayden didn’t know it, but inside I wept a bit to hear him say that.

Not because the thought of him living here when he’s 43 really scared me (though it would be a bit of a problem).

No, what Ayden doesn’t know is that I once spoke those exact words…many years ago.

Many years ago I looked into my mother’s beautiful blue eyes and declared:

“Mommy, I’m going to live with you forever.”

At the time I think it slightly panicked my mom who was in the depths of dealing with a high-maintenance and extremely social, frizzy haired little girl (I know it’s hard to imagine me as high-maintenance)!

However, now I sit, some 20 years later, and I think of those words many years ago:

I think of the way my mommy used to put my hair in pig tails

I think of the hideous outfits that she used to make me wear to school (FYI, sailor suits are just not cool)!

I think of the times she would meet me to walk home from school together

I think of the many shopping trips

I think of coming downstairs in the morning to find her reading her bible in the sunroom

I think of the countless frozen waffles that she would toast and then get too busy to eat

I think of all the ballet recitals that she excitedly sat through

I think of the many Halloween costumes that she made one stitch at a time

I think of the “taxi service” that she provided for me and my friends

I think of the way she made me jump up and down 10 times as the cure for boo-boos

I think of the punishments of standing nose to nose with my sister until we could laugh and stop fighting

I think of the way she talked me through 10th grade math and 12th grade heart ache

I think of the way she cried when I got engaged and the many tears we both shed when I packed up the U-haul and drove 15 hours away toward my new life with my husband.

“Mommy, I’m going to live with you forever.”

It stings a bit to hear my little boy say those words to me now. He means them with all his heart, just as I meant them so many years ago.

But, I know the reality.

I know that life moves on and wings get stronger.

I know that kids become adults and adults plant their own roots.

I know of the tears that will come when my children are one day led away…

“Mommy, I’m going to live with you forever.”

And yet…

Maybe there’s more to it than just geography?

Each day as I make my children ‘jump up and down 10 times’, or I leave a waffle in the toaster for 3 hours, I am reminded that maybe my mother isn’t really all that far away.

In fact, maybe she is right with me in every moment.

After all, who taught me how to deal with frizzy hair?

Who taught me how to break up sibling arguments?

Who taught me that we must rise above disappointments?

Who taught me that God comes first?

After all, who taught me to be a Mom?

And so, I guess I’ll say it again…

“Mommy, I’m going to live with you forever.”

You are forever a part of who I am.

You have helped shape me into the woman I am and you will never be farther away than my heart.

May my children one day be able to say the same about their Mommy.

“Mommy, I’m going to live with you forever.”

Happy Mother’s Day.
I love you.