“He rained down manna for the people to eat. He gave them the grain of Heaven.” Psalm 78:24There are times when my faith is lacking.
There’s no way around it – my heart knows that God has a plan, but my logical head just doesn’t understand how He is going to ‘fix’ the problems.
Yesterday was one of those days.
Ironically, yesterday was also November 1st…You got it – Bill Paying Day (gasp).
Since the house contract fell through and the reality has hit that Donn will soon be lacking a pay check, while at the same time needing to pay our mortgage, we have been forced to take a hard look at life and prioritize in a major way.
I have always been a pretty well budgeted person, but there is always room for improvement so yesterday I sat and did some major pondering.
After paying the bills I had literally hit rock bottom. I sat and sobbed at my desk as I looked at the money left in our account and calculated how far that money would last once the paychecks end…Gulp.
I then grabbed the grocery list and faced a harsh reality.
I couldn’t spend a dime from our bank account. Not one dime.
Sure, there is still some money in there – but I can’t justify spending it when I know what we’re potentially walking in to.
I reached into my wallet and looked to see how much cash I had on me.
$11.
Hmmph…that’s not gonna go too far.
But I felt God saying, “Try me.”
And so I vowed that for this week I wouldn’t spend any money from our account for groceries. I’ll use the $11 and trust God for the rest.
So last night, me and my $11 went to the grocery store. With my list prioritized into “must haves” and “maybe haves” I walked the aisles of Aldi.
Now, let me just stop and say that for me to publicly admit I shop at Aldi is a pretty big deal. Over the years I have grown to love Aldi and it has saved our family some major moolah. However, it’s certainly not the most glamorous place on the planet and bagging my own groceries took some getting used to. Needless to say, I went to Aldi with my list in one hand and my calculator in another (oh yes I did!!). I sat and calculated every purchase I put in the cart!
Even during my college days I never once did that!
As I got to the bottom of my list of “must haves” I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to get a few things…cereal, shampoo, tissues…those would have to wait. I literally prayed a little prayer of “God, we could use some cereal and shampoo…I guess toilet paper would work fine for tissues.”
Then I paid my whopping $10.46 bill and went home.
Today, as I sat with some of my amazing friends in bible study, we all laughed as I recounted my story of shopping with $11 and a calculator. We prayed together for God’s direction and provision as we make this transition and I felt this absolute sense of God’s peace.
And wouldn’t you know; God showed up.
One of my friends looked across the table and said, “You don’t happen to need cereal do you?”
“WHAT!! Are you kidding me?? That’s exactly what I need!”
Apparently she had encountered a great deal and had a ton of extra cereal that she just couldn’t pass up!
And, of course, because God is so good, when my friend brought the cereal to my house later in the day, she also filled a bag of other items that she had found when she was bargain shopping. Go figure, there was a bottle of shampoo and a box of tissues in there!
And, that’s the reason why I hate it when I start to doubt God’s goodness in my life.
He saw the tears I shed yesterday and he loves me despite the lack of faith that I can sometimes display. Not only does He still love me, but He also decides to wow me with His absolute provision for what I need (and don’t even need).
And that’s the manna that God provided for me today. Sure, it was in the form of cereal, shampoo and tissues, but there is no doubt that it was directly from God Himself!
Now - if I look outside and see some white bread stuff falling from the sky…wow- that would make for a great story! :)After today, I would say that anything is possible! He’s just
THAT good!
