Wednesday, August 29, 2012

September 1st.

I can hardly believe how quickly time flies!  One year ago today, I was sweating profusely, showering with a bucket and using more bug spray than any person should probably ever use (that may account for the slight twitch in my neck). 

The exact spot where we had met "Prince" (Asher) 2 years earlier
We were on the adventure of our lives (and oh what an adventure it was!)  Through major obstacles and intense emotions, we spent countless days in African Governmental offices and prayed more than I've ever prayed for our little Asher to actually be able to board the plane to come home with us.

Brothers from Day 1
On September 1st, 2011 the plane finally touched down in Atlanta, Georgia and, for the first time, I allowed myself to cry.  With the screeching of the tires and the dinging of the seatbelt sign, a reality finally hit me.  My African Prince was finally home and we were finally a family of 6.  We were on US soil, Asher was seated safely next to me, and he was officially a US Citizen.  After two and a half years of seeing his life pass me by through long distance pictures, I was finally holding his hand as we made a memory together.
The very moment the plane landed on US soil
And so, the months have passed by at Mach 5 speed and life has settled into the new norm of 4 children, crazy sports schedules, 2 full-time working parents, a crazy ministry schedule and the occasional, "GO TO YOUR ROOM" moment "Gee whiz, you're a great kid" moment!

The first time we ALL met
And this weekend we celebrate!

We celebrate that for exactly one year we have journeyed together and made memories we used to long to make.

We celebrate that for one year we have learned to read together, write together, play soccer together and put-hotsauce-on-everything-we-eat together! (Yes, I believe I just made that a verb of some sort)

We celebrate a little boy who has shot up 3 inches and grown out of two pairs of sneakers (well, maybe we don't celebrate that as much)!

And We celebrate that we no longer have to look to the sky and wonder if our little boy is safe...

But, above all else, we celebrate that we serve a God who is still in the business of miracles. 

A God who led us on a missions trip that changed our world and broke our hearts. 

A God who kept our little guy safe during terrifying raids and famines that I can't even begin to comprehend...

A God who broke down political barriers that were keeping us from being with our son...

And A God who knew at the beginning of time that our family would not be complete without the four precious gifts He has given us.

Thank you Lord for September 1st and thank you for the gift of family!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Allowing God To Reinvent Me...

Sometimes I feel like I've lost it...

Like it's a part of my being that I said goodbye to so long ago.

The things that used to come so easily to me, now seem buried so deep inside my soul that I'm not sure where to look to even dust them off. 

The truth is...I think I'm just scared to begin.

I used to have a simple life that I took for granted.  I spent my mornings at story hour with my kiddos or leading women's ministry at my church.  I created peanut butter and jelly lunch masterpieces and tucked my little ones away to nap land while I retreated to the world I had grown to love.

The world where I could express my soul.

The world where my words seemed to make sense of life and

The world where I felt like me.

I'm amazed when I look at the last time I wrote on this blog...over a year and a half ago.

Life has changed so much since the days of PB&J and blog posts that seemed to make sense...

Our home has moved

Our ministry life has taken on mach 5 speed

Our family has grown

Our roles have changed.

The days of playdates and new recipes were replaced with budget meetings, conference calls, PTA leading and fitting in the ministry that I loved around everything else.  The more my life took on this new role, the more the old Cyndie screamed to make sense of it.

Where am I?  Where is the crazy, stupid writer and speaker who made light of life's disappointments and took pictures of God's amazing provisions?

Well, it's time for some changes to take place.

I may not be able to control our circumstances or the way in which God has chosen to provide for our family so that we can serve Him in ministry...

I may not be able to control the way it feels to miss one of my precious kiddo's school events because I have a meeting I can't reschedule...

And, I may not be able to sneak away mid-afternoon to sip a coffee and script a bit of my heart on a page...

BUT, I can do something.

I can shed the fears and embrace the fact that life is no longer what it was. 

In all honesty, life is better. 

It's harder, It's chaotic, It's much more messy, It's tear filled, It's not always exactly how I would have planned it;

BUT, it's the center of God's Will.

And so, I am shedding the fears.  I will no longer give into the fear that God has taken away my gift of writing.  I will no longer worry if I can't post thoughts every day.  I will no longer allow Satan to deprive me of who God has made me to be. 

I am Cyndie.  I am a Wife.  I am a Mommy.  I am a Business Woman.   I am a Christ Follower and I am a Writer.

Today, I am allowing God to reinvent me.  No fears...both feet jumping right in...

It may not be the way it used to be...

but maybe...

just maybe...

It will be even better!