My Prince...

This picture arrived in our "inbox" today. Our sweet boy so far away...God gave me a little piece of you today. At just the right moment...at just the right time, He sent me a picture that reminded me that He is in control of everything.

These last few weeks have been a rollercoaster. We've been told that if we can get our paperwork filed now, there is a slight chance that we may actually get you home. A "slight" chance doesn't sound all that promising, and yet, a "slight" chance is worlds ahead of where things have been for the past 2 years.

And so we work feverishly. We file paperwork, visit doctors, get passports...we do everything... And then we wait...

We wait to see, if by some miracle, God will bring you home to us.

I must admit that I've been upset with myself over the past few weeks. Sometimes, I have the faith that God is going to provide and that you will come home to us. Many other times I've let fear creep in and I've sat on my floor crying and wondering if I will get through all of this and then lose you again.

I'm not sure how I can go through that again.

Saying goodbye to you the first time was the hardest thing I have ever done. Watching your face as our car drove away, will forever be etched in my brain as one of the worst images I've ever seen.

I'm scared Prince. For almost 2 years, I have dreamed of one day holding you again. And yet; now that it's here, I'm so scared that my heart will be broken again if I can't be with you.

And yet, this is what faith is...it's not always knowing how things will end up, but trusting in the ONE who does know.

I'm praying for faith now. I'm praying I will trust God to provide and I'm praying that He will let me put my entire heart into this moment; even if it means having to let go again.

You are worth it Prince and your life will be a testimony to his abundant blessings my sweet boy.

Thanks for teaching Mommy to have more faith.

Love,
Mommy