God and me...

Do you ever just struggle with this whole God thing?

Do you ever wonder where He is?

Praise God, I have been in a real relationship with the Lord for over 10 years now.

Sometimes I think people hear statements like that and they assume it means I have everything all figured out and my days are spent singing hymns as I vacuum the floor. HA!

To tell you the truth; I've been fighting very hard lately to really feel God. For a few months now I've been praying the same old prayer, "Lord, I know you're there...please let me feel you."

Sure, I've seen little glimpses here and there, but for the most part I've felt like I'm in a funk (to borrow a nice phrase from my Dad).

So, here I am; me and my funk...and quite frankly I'm just sick of it.

I miss the mountain top...I miss the exhileration of having just felt alive in the presence of the Lord. I miss the intimate conversations when I've actually felt like God is sitting across the table from me.

Well, a few weeks ago my husband was talking to the students about this kind of feeling. He put a picture up on the screen of Michaelangelo's Sistine Chapel. The picture depicts Adam and God.

If you look at the picture, you can see God flexing each and every muscle in his body in attempts to reach Adam. He is clearly straining as he leans toward his precious son with all His might.

And then we see Adam...

There Adam lounges...his arm carelessly lifted up with absolutely no effort put in.

And then you notice one very important thing...

All Adam would have to do to reach God is flex his finger!

That's it!! One simple motion and Adam would be touching the very hand of God! The hand that gave him life....the hand that gives him hope!

Of course, it got me thinking..

I say how much I want to be close to God.

I say how I long to feel His presence.

But really; am I sitting there like Adam is?

Am I expecting God to meet me without putting any effort in of my own?

Am I ridiculously close to touching my heavenly Father but too lazy to simply stretch out my finger?

Hmm....

It's been on my mind a lot lately....

We Finally Got It!

Here's our little girl getting big TOO FAST!!! We're so proud of her!

Happy Monday!

Only 4 Weeks Away!!!

In just a few short weeks we will be leaving the kids behind with Donn’s family and heading off to Liberia, Africa to serve over 400 children in an orphanage.

I would be lying if I said that I was absolutely excited.

I am quite excited, but I must also admit that I am nervous.

Nervous about leaving the kids. Nervous about both Donn and I being so far away, and nervous about whether or not my in-laws will be committed to a looney bin by the time we return (sorry Mom….just being honest)!:)

I guess I am writing all of this today to ask for your continued prayers. God has been incredibly faithful and has provided almost all of the finances that we need for the trip. The visas are on their way, the malaria medicines have been ordered. Everything is absolutely on track, but I know that Satan is also very involved.

I know that the closer we get, the more active Satan will become and I know that as a Mom I will be prone to many rising fears. I have left my kids behind many times before for youth events etc, but it has never been longer than a few days. More importantly, it has never been more than a few hours away. This will be a stretch.

Most of all, please pray that God will transform many lives through this trip. I am certain that He will transform our hearts through what we will encounter and I pray that He also transforms lives of the Liberians that we come in contact with.

I am so grateful for the support that many of you have shown us as we’ve geared up for this adventure and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your prayers. God is SO GOOD and I can’t wait to see what He has in store!

The Quilt of Holes...

I wish I could say I'd written this, but we all know that my brain is just not this deep right now...it's well worth the read though. And, to whoever did write it I am very grateful for the reminder.

A Quilt of Holes

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls.

Before each of us was laid out our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that was our life.

But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in everyday life.

I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune.

I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together - threadbare and empty - like binding air.

Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up for the scrutiny of truth.

The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been.

My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame.

I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes, but I had had love in my life, and laughter.

And there had been trials of illness and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again.

I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.

And now I had to face the truth: My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was.

I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. Then I looked upon the tapestry before me.

Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ.

Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, 'Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.'

May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!

Heaven...

Today I saw Heaven...

Today I saw Heaven in the eyes of my hurting friend.

Today I saw Heaven in the arms of my sisters that reached out to her.

Today I saw Heaven in the renewal of my own spirit as I walked away knowing that God had touched my heart as much as He had touched hers.

Today I saw Heaven...

Today I saw the Body of Believers step up to the plate.

Today I saw tears wiped away and hearts mended.

Today I saw Heaven...

Lord, thank you for this glimpse of Heaven on Earth and thank you that you are SO real!

And to my sisters out there who shared this glimpse of Heaven with me; I am honored to be your friend - may we have many more days of glimpsing Heaven together.

Ever again????

Someone please tell me...Will I ever have a deep thought again?

Not that my thoughts before I took this job were all that deep; but, come on...something more than laundry, dirty windows and dinner plans would occasionally enter my little brain!

I feel like I've been taken hostage. Every morning I wake up and trapse off to work and by the time I get home my brain seems to have left my body.

Truly, there are days when I drive up my driveway and actually stare at my house thinking;
"Is this really where I live? Hmm...Yup, it looks familiar."

Is this 'normal'? Or am I just an absolute loser when it comes to juggling so many things.

If you think it's normal, feel free to comment back...

If you think I'm a loser I suppose you could tell me that also. Chances are good I will look at you with a blank stare and have no clue what you're talking about anyway...seems to be the way my brain functions nowadays! :)

I miss you all...Well, I think I miss you all...I'm so tired who would know!:)

Discipline...

Discipline is becoming more difficult in our house...crazy schedules coupled with tired parents and growing little boys has made me stop and think about how I discipline the kids. I don't want to be one of those parents who just yells and screams on one day when a child makes a mistake and then graciously forgives the very same mistake the next day.

Granted, PMS plays a very major role in my reactions, but the fact remains that I have recently realized that I need to make the discipline as black and white as possible. I want my kids to understand right from wrong and know the consequences. I want to avoid confusion, and mostly I want to be consistent (which I have been far from recently).

Anyway, all of this came to me a few weeks ago while I was doing devotions and I sat and thought through the situation.

After pondering, I decided to try something new. Ayden is constantly coming home from school talking about his teacher's system of "pulling a card." Most of you Moms with school age kids understand this lingo.

Basically, the child is given three warnings and if they misbehave three times during a day then they have to pull their card. Once they pull the card they are punished by missing out on a fun activity.

I've decided to try this at home.

Of course, being that I'm slightly compulsive and absolutely LOVE for things to look aesthetically pleasing; I came up with my own "Discipline Board" which is now hanging proudly on my office wall where the kids can see it.

And so, here it is...a project that took me much too long to finish...

As you can see, there are 2 separate lines. One says 1, 2, 3 and then has an 'A' the other says 1, 2, 3 and then has a 'B'.

'A' is for Ayden. 'B' is for Brekyn.

Each child is given three "grace" passes over the course of a day for the "minor" offenses. Their arrow moves along their line until it hits three. Once they go beyond their 3 offenses, they then have to "pull their card." The card is conveniently attached to the pocket that it rests in, so that it won't get lost.

The card looks like this:


The purpose is to try to get through a day without having to pull your card. Every time that they go a whole day with no card pulled, they are able to place a check on a separate paper that we have hanging up. Once each child gets 15 check marks, they are allowed to pick out a book at the book store.

Of course, once one of the kids has to pull a card, they will then be disciplined accordingly.

And so, that's the system...now we'll just see how it works.

Unfortunately, I suspect we'll have a chance to put it to the test as soon as nap time ends.

No; wait...positive thinking, Cyndie....positive thinking.

The Box of Blessings...

Let's be honest...shall we?

These are tough times.

I don't think there is anyone who is not feeling the effect of this unstable economy. It seems as though every few days I get a new message from a friend whose husband has lost their job or has taken a severe pay cut in order to keep his job.

Life is scary. It's easy to wallow and get caught up in the fears.

What if...?

Well, I don't know all the "what ifs." What I do know is that God is good and hears all of our prayers.

Recently I "stumbled" upon a little blessing in our financial life and I'm so excited to share it with you!

What is my blessing?

It's http://www.angelfoodministries.com/

I heard about it on my local news station.

It's a ministry that began out of Georgia and now has over 500,000 participants each MONTH!

Here's the deal.

Each month this ministry sends out a monthly food menu. The menu consists of many food items (mostly meats). If you're interested in purchasing the food for the month, you simply order the food and pay $30. They claim that each box has enough food to feed a family of 4 for a week. We have personally found that it's now been about 2 weeks for us and I still have plenty of food left and I've made a meal every night.

Basically, churches all over the US sign up to assist this ministry by acting as distribution sites for the food.

You send your $30 to the church that is closest to your home and then you're given the date when you can pick up your box of food from that church.

The bottom line is that the ministry is ordering at such a bulk amount they are able to offer about 3 times as much food at a fraction of the cost to you!

It has nothing to do with income. There are no applications, no limitations on amount ordered. Simply send it your check and voila! Your freezer will be stocked with amazing tasty foods!

I have now ordered my first "box" of food and we have had some of the best meals we've had in months. Every item in the box is name-brand/restaurant quality.

Let's face it; with this economy every savings is worthwhile.

Since there's no limit on the amount of boxes you can order, I'm seriously considering ordering 4 boxes next time so I'll have enough food for a month!

Here's a little picture of all that was in my last box.

Jump over to their website and find out the closest distribution site to you!http://www.angelfoodministries.com/

Woo-HOO!!!!!!!!!

MY BABY GIRL IS WALKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta run and see about getting that video camera going!

It's Official!!

Here's our baby girl....

Here's our baby girl holding her official adoption decree!

It's DONE! It's OFFICIAL!

Praise God!