Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Discipline...

Discipline is becoming more difficult in our house...crazy schedules coupled with tired parents and growing little boys has made me stop and think about how I discipline the kids. I don't want to be one of those parents who just yells and screams on one day when a child makes a mistake and then graciously forgives the very same mistake the next day.

Granted, PMS plays a very major role in my reactions, but the fact remains that I have recently realized that I need to make the discipline as black and white as possible. I want my kids to understand right from wrong and know the consequences. I want to avoid confusion, and mostly I want to be consistent (which I have been far from recently).

Anyway, all of this came to me a few weeks ago while I was doing devotions and I sat and thought through the situation.
After pondering, I decided to try something new. Ayden is constantly coming home from school talking about his teacher's system of "pulling a card." Most of you Moms with school age kids understand this lingo.
Basically, the child is given three warnings and if they misbehave three times during a day then they have to pull their card. Once they pull the card they are punished by missing out on a fun activity.

I've decided to try this at home.

Of course, being that I'm slightly compulsive and absolutely LOVE for things to look aesthetically pleasing; I came up with my own "Discipline Board" which is now hanging proudly on my office wall where the kids can see it.

And so, here it is...a project that took me much too long to finish...


As you can see, there are 2 separate lines. One says 1, 2, 3 and then has an 'A' the other says 1, 2, 3 and then has a 'B'.

'A' is for Ayden. 'B' is for Brekyn.

Each child is given three "grace" passes over the course of a day for the "minor" offenses. Their arrow moves along their line until it hits three. Once they go beyond their 3 offenses, they then have to "pull their card." The card is conveniently attached to the pocket that it rests in, so that it won't get lost.

The card looks like this:


The purpose is to try to get through a day without having to pull your card. Every time that they go a whole day with no card pulled, they are able to place a check on a separate paper that we have hanging up. Once each child gets 15 check marks, they are allowed to pick out a book at the book store.

Of course, once one of the kids has to pull a card, they will then be disciplined accordingly.

And so, that's the system...now we'll just see how it works.

Unfortunately, I suspect we'll have a chance to put it to the test as soon as nap time ends.

No; wait...positive thinking, Cyndie....positive thinking.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Geez Cyn, can't you even discipline without twitching???(inside joke)

Seriously though, the kids are gonna want to have their cards pulled just because they are so darn cute to look at! :) Can I have a card?

Love ya,
L

Cyndie said...

For the record, "twitching" is how my dear, sweet friends refer to my decorating passion. They claim that I get so excited about decorating that I begin to twitch....personally, I'm thinking that I need new friends:)! Funny thing is, they all ask me to come to their houses to decorate!:)

Anonymous said...

Oh come on...I meant "twitching" as a term of endearment. I heart U!

Anonymous said...

Cyndie,

Love your method is getting control and staying on target. I would like to just add something coming from a mother that has a 18 year old, 12 year old and 9. I have no idea what it's like to have your little ones all so young so keep that fact in mind.

A wise woman told me a story I will try to share with you quickly. She told me that one day her son ran into the road and as she followed him he went farther. Afraid he would keep running she stopped and started counting 1, he didn't stop, 2 he didn't stop and of course on 3 he did. When asked why didn't you stop when I told you to, he replied, "well I always get 3 chances, so I waited until you got to 3". This taught her a valueable lesson that day that she had taught her child to obey on the 3rd time, not the first as God would expect. Within seconds of her reaching him and picking him up, over the hill came a car speeding down the street. They moved out of the way just in time, saving their lives.

My son the oldest was 5 when this happen ever since then I got ride of the 1, 2, 3 warnings and focused on the First time attitude. It was hard but even today at age 18, he knows the consequences if I have to tell him twice.

Again, I have no idea what it's like to have small kids that close in age so who am I to speak but as they grow older and more manageable it might be something to consider.. :)Of course, not all ways work for all kids. We have to work in the environment God gives us.

Keep up the great job. Parenting is never easy. You're doing a fantastic job.