Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Quitter...

If you ask my Mom, she would probably tell you that I quit just about everything that I ever started as a child. Who knows, maybe she’s right…

Gymnastics…hmm..maybe 6 months. THEY PRACTICED ON SATURDAYS Y’ALL!

Chess Club…come on; who really wants to be in chess club...I was just there because of a cute boy.

Basketball…okay, really…How tall am I? I was the queen of the potty shot though!

Singing group…actually I stuck with this one for a few years….I think I quit when I finally realized that I couldn’t sing:)!

Piano…UGGH! Enough said!

Band…RIGHT UP THERE WITH PIANO!!

The truth is; I guess I didn’t have the best track record for following through with things. In reality, I think I was just one of those people who loved to try new things.

New adventures everyday!

New people to meet!

I think my mom and dad stuck it out in hopes that maybe I would one day find an actual talent! :)

So, fast forward some 30 years and here I sit today. I must admit, I still love new adventures and I still LOVE to meet new people. Some things never change, I guess.

Although the one thing that has changed is that I now dread the thought that I may start something and never finish it. I guess that all those years of gaining the reputation of “quitter” have finally taught me some lessons. I am now OVERLY cautious about starting anything unless I know that I can commit to finishing it. In reality, I think that is why it took me so long to finally get over my fear of actually using my gift of writing. Now, I am not saying that my writing will ever go anywhere; however, once I committed to actually starting a book, my biggest fear immediately became that I wouldn’t ever finish it.

And this is where you come in…I am calling in the troops on this one.

In less than one month I will be attending my first ever writing/speaking conference through Proverbs 31 ministry. I have looked into attending this conference for years but never felt God saying that the time was right…until this year.

As part of this conference, you are able to set up 2 meetings with publishers to pitch a book (if you have one to pitch). I have set up my meetings and am now working on pulling together a few concrete chapters and a proposal to pitch this book that I am writing about Godly confidence for women. The book is written just the way that I write…nothing fancy..no frills…life stories and hopefully some laughter. It’s pretty much just like this blog.

Here’s where you come in. I am really struggling right now. I have the chapters but they’re far from perfect. I can’t come up with the proposal to save my life and, more than anything, I am finding it IMPOSSIBLE to focus!!

Please, please pray for me!!

I said to Donn this morning that my biggest fear is NOT of rejection…that’s such a likely outcome that I don’t fear it. My biggest fear is simply of quitting. I want to leave it all on the field. I want to put everything I’ve got into this and then walk away knowing that the Lord can do what He chooses. Rejection or not…I want to be able to stand before God one day and smile knowing that I put my entire heart into this thing that He has CLEARLY called me to do.

Sisters, please pray for me as you think to. Pray for the Lord to touch me and use my gifts however He chooses. Pray for me to focus and to give everything I’ve got to this book. Pray for the Lord to use this opportunity to help me grow in faith and trust. This blog has become such a neat community of friends to me and I can't tell you all how much you have blessed my life!

And, for the record…I stuck with the drama team for years…Oh yea, and my dancing teacher actually quit on me! :)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll be praying for you Cyndie, and YEA for Fools for the King!!! FYI I try to check your blog every day to read the great little stories you have to tell. I really enjoy it and it encourages me too. love ya, Hannah

lifelaughterchaos said...

I bet your a sanguine. No, that's not a derogatory term. At my women's retreat this year we talked about personalities. I am a sanguine to the "T". Major, major people person. Our speaker described them as thinking no one is a stranger. That's definitely me!

Anyway, the one strength of that personality (which I'm sensing you have) is you get very inspired and passionate...and you like to encourage others to do so too. However, the weakness is that your confidence fades fast.

That is my HUGE problem. Like the ministry I'm starting. I've been pumped up for years about it, but now I want to quit! Why? Because I'm an idea person...big picture. But then when it comes to acutally doing it and not everyone is on board with you, I plummet.

That would be my same problem with the book! I would start one or maybe even finish it, but then when it came to pitching it, I would lose confidence after one nope.

So, I'm finding this comment to be purely centered on me (sorry, another personality weakness;) However, that information gave me a new perspective of why I do what I do (or don't do). Maybe you could weave God given personalities into your book...it is very interesting and defintely applicable!

oh yea, I'll pray for you too!

Anonymous said...

I was thinking the same thing as Hannah regarding FFTK! We rocked! And I'm glad you never gave that up, Cyndie...you were such an encouragement to us! You still are -- I love your blog too. : )
- Ali B.

Valerie said...

First, I am so glad you are meeting with the publishers. Consider it a victory that you have set that up and you are putting together a proposal. I backed out since I haven't found one single topic I am passionate enough about to pursue yet. So here is a huge high 5 for you.

I will be praying for you to get everything ready for the conference and I'll see you there!

Barb Klueg said...

Great blog, Cyndie (again!)! I'm so glad you stayed with our old teen drama group, Fools 4 The King! You were a great asset. I can relate to your problem of quitting things! I have the same problem - so many things to try and sooooo little time to do them! Stick with your book venture - you're a natural writer. I love reading your blog! Keep up the good work! Your honesty and humility are refreshing! Love You - Praying 4 You! Barb