Waking Up...

A few months ago I realized something very difficult.

I had lost my passion.

I had lost my ability to wake every day and say, "Lord use me today."

I had lost my desire to proclaim God to others.

I had lost my fire.

It's a really tough thing to admit that when you're in ministry you've struggled in this way.

Nevertheless, I have committed to live my life transparently and to be honest with everyone around me.

In reality, this is a very real part of life as a Christian. Being a Christian does not mean that you are promised a life of happiness, perfect conditions and no rain.

In fact - as Christians we are actually told that rain will come. It's not so much a matter of if but when.

The question becomes, when the rain falls, what do you do in response?

When I realized the shift in my attitude I hit my knees and began to pray a very specific prayer.

"Lord, let me see the people as you see them. Let my eyes be opened...let me be filled with such compassion that it hurts."

Lesson number one: Don't pray a prayer like that unless you really mean it.

Uggh....it has hurt.

The past few months have been filled with lesson upon lesson as God has opened my eyes to the world He sees each day. The world that is starving, lost, selfish, dishonest, cruel and suffering.

It has been painful - it has stretched me - I have been humbled as I've seen my weaknesses thrown in my face.

But in the midst of it all, I have also been embraced by God...held tight...comforted...reminded whose child I really am.

I felt like today was the day to share this journey with you because I woke up this morning and realized that I was finally looking at the world through God's eyes!

I am finally looking around at the needs of others instead of worrying about what ambitions I have for myself or my family.

I woke up and realized that my heart is finally breaking as I think of the lost.

I woke up and realized that for the first time in a long time, I cry just to think of those who are lost in this world and how it must feel to be so hopeless and alone.

I'm praising God that today is the day I woke up.

I'm praising God that His mercies are new each morning and that today I am receiving the grace that He gives to rejuvinate a heart and to save the lost (starting right with me).