Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Empty Stable


“An empty stable stays clean, but there is no income in an empty stable.”
Proverbs 14:4 (NLT)


I didn’t ever meet her; I never knew her name; I never even heard the sound of her voice. She was from a world completely unlike anything I’d ever known and she changed my life forever.

As a senior in college I felt like I had the world at my fingertips. I was blessed to be engaged to a wonderful Godly man that loved me more than I’d ever known. I was working in an internship that was a great addition to my resume as well as good money, and I was looking forward to tossing up the graduation cap and facing the world head on! Life was good. Life was orderly and well planned out. In many ways, life was just beginning.

As I saw her walking along the railroad tracks that day, I remember thinking how out of place she seemed. In a very wealthy suburb outside of Boston, it was typical to see signs of the ‘better’ side of life. Boats in tow behind expensive SUV’s, mothers running in and out of the boutiques along the street, people scurrying around with Starbucks cups in their hands.

And yet, there she stood that fall morning as I drove to work. Her long salt and pepper hair badly mangled from what clearly had been years of outdoor living. She carried with her a mangy bag that undoubtedly held all of her worldly possessions, and she wore a holey long mauve winter coat that was covered in patches of dirt and mud.

As I saw her struggling under the load of her bag with the cold Boston air whipping against her face, I couldn’t help but wonder what her story was. How did she end up in this place? Did she have anyone else in life or was she limited to this solitary existence? Where was she going and where did she come from? My heart ached for her.

As the months dragged on, I began to look for her each day as I passed the railroad tracks. Despite the different lives that we were living, we clearly had one thing in common - we were both tied to a schedule. And so, each morning around 8:17am I would anticipate my daily ‘meeting’ with this woman who had stolen my heart.

As I went driving past her I often wondered if I should stop. Maybe I could offer to buy her a cup of coffee or give her a lift to her destination. And yet, just as quickly as these thoughts would enter my mind, they would be lost in the world of “what if”.

What if she’s a psycho who murders me while I’m driving her down the road? What if she doesn’t want my company? What if she thinks I’m crazy? And so, the days dragged on and we remained nameless in one another’s eyes.

It was not until months later, in the midst of a winter storm that brought almost a foot of snow to our town that I learned the lesson that the Lord had been preparing for me.

With the snow moving in all around me, the roads had already become very unsafe. I called my fiancé and told him that I would be heading back to campus in a few minutes. I asked him to wait for me at my apartment to be sure that I made it home safely.

As I drove down the same road that I had come to know so well, with wiper blades swishing from side to side, I tried to do all I could to keep the car from sliding on the wet, winding pavement. As the snow picked up, I began praying, “Lord, help me get home, help me get home.” My body was tense and my eyes in full alert mode as I rounded the corner that ran along the train tracks.
And there she was.

Though I had never seen her before on my afternoon commute, there she was; walking along the road with her head bowed and her eyes wincing from the bitter cold snow that was pelleting her face. Her mauve coat was hardly noticeable under the layer of fluff that had covered her body and it was clear that with each step came an excruciating amount of pain. The wind swirled around her and my mind began to race. “Lord, she’s going to die out here! Where is she going? She needs to find shelter! Lord, she’s going to die!” In many ways I felt as if I was watching a friend suffer a tragic and horrible end.

“I need to do something! Should I pick her up? Where would I take her?”

And yet, the very minute those thoughts entered my mind, I felt myself giving into the fear again. “What if she’s crazy? What if I end up dead? What would my parents or my fiancé say?”
And so, I gripped the wheel tightly and continued on my way, offering up a silent prayer that the Lord would protect my unknown friend.

By the time I reached my apartment I could barely breathe. I opened the door and ran in and began sobbing as I recounted the entire story of this woman who had been a silent part of my life over the past months and how I had just left her to suffer alone. Donn listened intently and then said, “Cyndie, I think we need to go back. If we don’t go back, you will spend the rest of your life wondering what could have happened.”

We jumped back in the car and drove the 10 miles back up the road that had now become treacherous under winter’s wrath. When we got to the area where my unknown friend had been, we scoured the streets. We drove in and out of side roads searching for any sign of her. We pulled into parking lots and looked in store windows.

“Where was she?”

“What have I done?”

“ Oh, Lord, please don’t let her die out here!”

She was no place to be found. She was gone.
As we crawled along the road that night and headed back to the warmth and comfort of our cozy shelter, tears streamed down my face and I realized one of the biggest lessons in my life.

I had missed out on an opportunity to be used by God.
I had missed out on an opportunity to be blessed by God.

How many times have we allowed the opportunity to simply pass us by? How many times have we taken all that we have for granted or made excuses for why we are not “equipped” to bless someone else? How many times has our calendar been too booked or our wallet been too small? How many times have our jobs taken priority or our “Favorite TV show” been on? How many times have we known what God was calling us to be a part of and we’ve turned and walked away instead?

As I lay under the warmth of my down comforter on that blistery winter night I made a declaration to God. Never again would I ignore the tugging that He placed upon my heart.

If we’re really honest about it; we all know what God’s tugs feel like. It’s that moment when you feel absolute certainty and confidence that God is asking you to do something. It’s the feeling you get when something that seems absurd in the world’s eyes, makes absolute sense in your heart because you know WHO is guiding your steps. It’s the feeling I had on that day when I passed my friend by in her moment of great need.

Proverbs 14:4 says, “An empty stable stays clean, but no income comes from an empty stable.”

My life was tidy and orderly back on that fateful winter day. I had a fiancé, a good job and an entire future to look forward to. In many ways, I had a very “clean stable”. It was nice that it stayed clean. It felt safe and comfortable. It felt predictable and soothing. It was peaceful. It was my comfort zone.

I wonder how many of us live in a world of “clean stables?” A clean and tidy life is a wonderful thing; don’t get me wrong. BUT, how many of us refuse to allow God to use us for fear that it may mess up our comfortable lives? What if I invite that needy person in for dinner and the neighbors see? What if I have to give up some of my “coffee money” to help out a friend who’s just lost their job? What if God calls my family to go to the mission field? What if?? What if?? What if??

“An empty stable stays clean, BUT NO INCOME COMES FROM AN EMPTY STABLE.”

If “income” is the blessing that we receive from our efforts, then we quickly realize that according to God’s Word, sometimes it takes getting messy in order to receive God’s blessings. If we sit around in our neat and tidy and comfortable lives (clean stable), we will receive no blessing (income).

What is your “clean stable”? What mess are you trying to avoid but you know that God is calling you toward? Is it the alcoholic that needs a listening ear? Is it the child from down the street who has a broken home? Is it the pregnant teenager that is scared and alone? “An empty stable stays clean, but no income comes from an empty stable.” Are you ready to get a bit messy and allow God to bless you while you share Him with others?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love this entry. This topic came up in our bible study group..the tugs from God and our ability to listen or turn the other cheek.
Beautiful message, Cyndie...loved it !