"I Can't Stand That Job!"

Anyone who knows Donn and I, knows that we bought a house about 3 years ago that was in great structural shape but needed some MAJOR love. We have spent the better part of those three years making our house a home and learning how to do every job under the sun.


A few weeks ago, as I was tucking the boys into bed, I looked over at the wall by Ayden’s head and I saw the horrible uneven surface of the drywall that I had poorly patched before painting. This particular spot is a spot that I now cringe to look at. I don’t know where my mind was on that day, but I don’t think I have ever done a worse job of “fixing” something in my entire life. Needless to say, it drives me crazy!


As I kissed Ayden goodnight and then caught the glimpse of that horrible wall, I said out loud, “I can’t stand that job" (meaning, of course, the poor job I had done with the drywall).


Not even thinking about it, I started to walk out the room when I was stopped by Ayden who very timidly said to me, “Mommy, you don’t like your job? Does that mean you don’t like being my Mom?”


Okay, this is the part of the story where you take a knife, stab it in my heart and twist it around 47 times!


When I realized what Ayden thought I had meant I immediately ran back to him and assured him that I never would think those thoughts. I explained how I was just disappointed with the work that I had done on that wall by his bed. Of course, being 6 years old, he said, “Oh, great!” and promptly fell asleep.


Me on the other hand?...

Probably a good month has passed since that silly little incident and I can honestly say that I don’t think a day has gone by when I haven’t thought about it. The concern in Ayden’s voice when he (for a split second) questioned my love for him, will stay with me forever. What a reminder it was to me of how blessed I am to have the high calling of “Mommy”.


There is no doubt about it; it’s by far the hardest, messiest and often most monotonous job I have ever had; but the benefits of such a high calling, far outweigh the bad days. I can only pray that when my children think about me, they will never question how deeply my love runs for them.


For over a year I have been saying that I needed to get my act together and properly fix Ayden’s wall so that I don’t cringe every time I look at it…After this amazing reminder however, I am very tempted to leave it there as a daily memento of this highest of all callings.